THE UNEXPECTED ..

many unexpected events happened to me lately. feeling so insecured; yet thoroughly capable on handling every minute of the day. cos; i face & fight catastrophe. damn de surroundings is DEFINITELY WEIRD! .. firstly MYSELF .. i guess im in a diff world ryt now. A CONFUSED LAND. who to choose? who to love? .. (-.-)" .. i chatted wit haikal yest. he luk sumwhat like Iffazat, Haix, i felt totally sorry fr him bot his breakups. but how bot kel?since he kno im going to be attached, he nvr talks to me anymore, nvr ONLINE even. maybe did he still love me? hmrrmph. I miss HIM .. then sch .. ppl distracts me bot my exes. wan goes "eh .. ni ex hazwan // mane dia? " he's my FAV BF. my 1st love. de unforgetable. hazwan evn viewed my profile recently. ?? ?? .. ntf, anuar, the unfinished. eww, GELI .. cant any1 blew him off my sight? nah .. aniwes , his mum & AMIRUL came to meet mr adam. biasa lah, Smoke .. SUSPEND .. lols , all i cared bot is his Lil' Bro!! i go nuts as i saw tht cutie!! !! !freaking adorable. ah .. the other possible things tht make me go nuts is .. iman! i walk off home wit aisha ( soo in love girl =p) and he was right infront of ME. when he sat, he showed his 1billion smile. x) .. atleast, he's frendly. but then, rahmat out of blue disturb me! at the gate, he called out to me many times? wtf? is he INSANE ..? another weirdo for de day. tk pernah bobal, tk pernah ape .. ISHH. so unexpected ..
somemore, its the guy that i USED to have CRUSH ON .. long long time ago .. CONFUSED RIGHT?

*Now Playing: Never be Replaced; 1st Lady* =P

"baby i love you & i'll never let u go.. but if i have to boy i think that u should kno.. all the love we make, can never be erased.. and i promised u that u will never be replaced"

Even tho this song Is no longer to be called "latest", i still regard that it's the best song i encountered so far, & i dont mind puting an "old" song to my blog. x) de lyrics are delicate & simple. plus! it thouroughly describes what im riding through all this while. A GUY, indra haiqal [kel] .. he adores this song, & that is when i begun to fall in love with the song & he himself .. he will nvr be replaced ..

stop with the sappy, mushi - mushi stuff, up next is updating today events. =p everyting went so fine like everytime i walk, i wont fall into holes. i met atiqah & yahh! she treated me mcdon =p .. ah after all tos fastwork, fastgame .. im euphorically laughing. omg. my cheeks' muscle is so crammed & IT HURRRTTSS!!. Moreover, i spotted wan noraimi & the bike gang. wao, not only that .. firdaus, maszlee & gang was there too. ONE HELLA' OF A HUGE BIKE GANG. scary to the maximum. i acted calm whilst my heart actually beats so fast. then... out of the sudden, they called out "ROSE!!" .. wan noraimi blurted to his frends " eh ni ex nyer hazwan!" .. IDIOT; SHIT .. i felt like bursting his flat ass up. =P then the whole journey meet to an end .. i meet up wit my frend .. i grab my clothes from her & rest at her living room .. last destination is sharon .. at late afternoon .. we went to jp! loLs. she browse for shoes whilst i buy scarf & earings. x) CUTE GUYS ALERT. BANGLAS ALERT. x) surrounded fo sure. tonnes of em stared at us. oo, we're so special to be stared at .. like as if we're one hell of a superstar .. hurhur .. went back at 7 .. and took a deep rest .. eat, drink, toilet bla la bla .. now, back staring at the computer again thoughtfully .. at 11.30 PM =p just 30 mins befor tmrw .. its just that my mind kept potraying pictures of kel, shaf .. (here i go agn ..sappy& blur) .. the past, the present, the future .. mr kerek? extreme past. gone & i dont care .. weird that the two musketeers above is mos likely to be FAIR. fair - skinned honeys. kel need me but im terribly confused. shaf? he's the present.. that i begin to fall into with. NEARLY. ohh yah iman btw. just a dumb crush. x) nothing special really. so, in conclusion = IM CONFUSED. who to begin with? kel or shaf? shaf or kel? kel or shaf? shaf or kel? as in life, ONLY ONE that i have to begin with. ONLY ONE that i have to end with .. hmrph .. *shut down*

LOVESTRUCK.

Now Playing: BREATHE by Sean Paul*
He's my Idol =p Muacks. =p

Mood: HAPPY. :)
a rambunctious moments filled the air.. me & my frends. & most are cast by love spells. including me x). rootless & unexpected. guess what?
aisha, she's been daydreaming of him* all day long. blown away in tinkywinky dipsy, lala, po land. gee, she's potraying her ultimate smile of hers. hehe.. remedial today ignites our senses & ive been laughing like an idiot. dos 10yrseries cartoon is SO funny siol! i ask" why Lee wear skirt, Then Mary wear Pants? should be the other way round wat!!" then aisha calmly redraw back the cartoon. wakaka!
Moreover atiqah herself have been acting crazy, full of hysteria. IN LOVE with him* & her bestfrend. =p wonderful expressions blurting out. =p lols..
About me? kel MISS me. =p wao, suprising. i kindof miss him too. my honeystar. anddddd.. sch todey, i gt to see Iman. loadz of coincidence. otw home, he appeared. he strike a few glance. Squue!. ahh.. he's so Handsome, so Fair.. i like~ anyway, just a casual crush, nothing more. x)
Today's night is a BLISS* & now im thinking of having a haircut! i NEEEEED a haircut. MATHS TEST ruin my head TOTALLY. felt like plucking out all my hairs. new accesories & new hair pls. I dont care bot my rebonded hair. as long im happy STILL. i dont care bot my exes in sch & outside, i dont care abt jealousy & hatred.. i dont care abt the past.. coz by now, present is what matters. i have to buck up with studies, back with aisah again (if can) and most importantly,, love & studies.. simply in love.. =p

SO YESTERDAY.

FEVERFEVERFEVER. =x. thunderstorms hitting every corner of my head. my temple grinds & feeling so DRUNK!! not today.. & now i cant even type steadily. heavy head. NO MEDICINE.. grr..
FIST THING IN THE MORN!, stand infront of the world sch!. SHAME!! rnne, fida thinks so too.. jump to conclusion we had a BADD DAY. :( yikeess.
today i cant communicate much ard. my throat is damn SORE as i reached home. BUT thouroughly, i enjoyed school. i get to share those cute moments with aisha. aww, remember, kittymal? *giggles* i spent my time wit rnne during recess. we've missed SO MUCH. obviously, we had our own friends to tag alg with too. tak kan asek rnne ajer kan. teehees. x) i drop by 3nc with dayah, aisha, zairie & aaron. mal's geng & khairi left quite earlier than us. i helped on their class deco. we shared a great laugh & wished we are ONE once agn. the ex2na. BUT!!~ time can never mend. flashbacks interwine.glad that we nvr FORGET each other.
zairie on the other hand; i managed to observe that he's a one hell of a physic guy. every of the person i like, he seems to know it! & now he blurted out iman's name, i get a shock through my mind cells. but DAMN, IM LUCKY!, he doesnt know the other one. =p iman?? lol.. dont believe it, im lying.
im pretty glad i dont encounter any frendship matters/ distructions so far. ONE SMILE CAN MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND. since my frends & i myself potrays a smile, nothing will make us distracted to have fun. since im sick today.. try my best to smile.. but in the end, i get good remarks.. i still have fun..!! u see it? u get what i meant?? x) . just wishing that happiness would last. * lala land*...

TO BE IMMORALLY PURE.

Everything went so perfectly smooth today & even yest. im loving an imperfect person perfectly. even the imperfect life of mine. a calm sunday night warmth my soul as i chatted all the way through via msn. GOSSHH!!many ppls' been nudging me to talk. =p. talking to aisha is fantab! i adore her. so KEEYUT!!~ and damn she's my close frend. x) problems slowly sorting out. AND along the way i chat wit yusri. tht SUPERCUTE. charming guy frm cckss. i called hm my darling. *blushes*. another person to adore.
NEXT, today went back to sch. :) we did NOT do mass run, BUT a boring dull medicine ball game instead. eww, its dilapilating my mind like an nonaganarian. and class lessons simply roocks my WORLD! yongsheng, mingxing, aishah, hou shuai & me had a " joke of the day ".. the word " dirty - minded" steadily hold inside our heads. and im being such an ACCUSER!! ;). i declared yongsheng (VCD PORN SELLER), mingxing (PORN WATCHER), hou shuai (HOTEL CUSTUMER)..hehe!! an i myself a (CIGARETTE SELLER).. when aisha said "kau tk sunat" to the chi guys, i went crazy & laughing lyk idiot..thn i slowly translate.. "yur lanchiao never cut!"..then everybody goes whacko bout it..till the lessons ENDS!! being dirty minded sometimes can be fun too..must poke the thistle to my throat..ouch..
and aniway, im physically sick.!. supposingly to stay at home. self - inflicted. but am being such a steadfast towards school. just cant miss my crushiie, test along the way. and last, today NIGHT..woo, a ridiculous tragedy happened btwn the two girls. somehow insuperable & souls illuminated. i wish fights dont exist, and devils wnt physco humans.. just leave them alone.. but it wont be challenging aite? if devils dont exist.. to test us if we' are strong enough to fight for goodness..

misery cant hold me back from happiness.

Woots!! Rose potraying a wide smile. *giggles*. finally happy, calm; flush off those tainted love, misery, silence & stress down the toilet bowl. the 25 calibre bullet was disposed from my heart & i can breathe the fresh air agn. x). but avoidance routine must still be done. (-.-)". no basketball crt, no jurong west, no frequent westmall visits. Nahh!! thats no big task aniwes.~ today certainly suck my breath away. tonnes of cute hunks ard outside. squee!! at home seems peacefull. no nagging, jobs. yadas yadas yadas. but, ive grown to miss sch. :p I MISS MY CRUSHHIE... i miss studying with atrocious teachers. i miss messing ard with my lame&lagical jokes. BLEAAHH!!. lastly, i miss my OLD ME. i kept myself quiet becos of catastrophe. not Frends x). and i dont need changes. MY OLD SELF IS THE BEST. originally rose.
i have loads of frends to be wit. and i dont need MORE. fullstop. and i have a bestie to treasure with.=) rnne =). and yahhh, Sharon. :)..find her duelly intresting. Aisha,, i adore her. soooh keeyut!! nice personality. gosh, i lurbss them both..as frends! duh!! :P
But the problem wit myself is... i always woke up LATE!! grr.. named by father "night OWL, lazypoke, late lady etcetra..." need to kick tht habit which keeps coming back. damn,, i LOOOVE watching tv, midnight talks. gonna miss them; which is have to sleep MOREE earlier than expected.

i guess im being damn cheerful arent i??? u kno WHY?? x) *winks*

SUFFOCATING UNDER THE WORDS OF SORROWS. yadas. am so buried up in the bifurcating river. tsk. home & school makes no mere diff. to me. why cant ppl understand, that im suffering enough shit every moment im going thru? *bang heads on the wall*. at home, evry person bugs me. bro bullied & trashed me mos of the tym lately. its tough to have a bro whose indeed have vigorous attitude, dancer, smoker, drinker etc. always paoto mummy. mummy drags abt my studies. when she uttered words tht i wont enter poly, gosh! my heart did a summersault. bullet shot * my heart repeatedly bleeding. sister gave advice & i felt so insulted. doesnt mean im the youngest, mos pampered, ive no right too talk; and be a nagging, bullymachine to them. wad realy happen to my happy family??
school brought catastrophe. because of ditractions, personal feelings, body conditions get worser every minute. NOW, after months of not dropping a single tears, finally my cheek remarkably drenched with thousands of uncountable tears. i cant take it anymore. i tried to be strong. slowly i pray, in this silence.. everything would be okay..[ thanks rnne & frends fer being there for me. trust is all we need. do believe me. im not the person you think that cant be trusted. cause i myself knows who i am most. lovers come and go.. it all ends with tears. and u know what?? FRIENDS is the shoulder for u to cry on.. FRIENDS is the tissue when u cant stop crying.. when ur lover is gone, im sure u'll come back to ur FRIENDS right?? :) ]

DANCE, DANCE - FALL OUT BOY.
Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you love to lead
Dance this is the way they know
If they knew how misery loved me.

woots!!HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. and to rnne&apis too. teehees. feel like smacking myself up, bursting ppls humps. yadas. ive hunches of BADLUCKS. unexpectedly, i wokeup at 7.15am, when the bells has gone! smack!. get ready, went out and walked to the back gate. omg, its locked! *kick the gate*. trying to be patient, i take rounds ard the condo & went in at 8.10. exhausted, i forced myself up the flight of hell stairs. as i entered my classrm, my seats are taken by minghui! *karate kick* & dumped my bags on the empty seats nearby. i flashed my im-not-happy smile. kiwek!!
omg, before i forget, on my journey taking the hell stairs,unexpectedly, i received a gift. woo.~ from a guy. as his friend turned and hand it over to me, i felt my cheeks burning & quickly potrays my shy face. i skidded off.
the rest of the day was nothing but a hole in the heart. so unhappy. whereas ppl surrounding me were smiling EVERYWHERE. i myself hopelessly trying to built up a SMILE in my face & makes ppl not worried abt my situation. depressed, heartbroken, lost, sleepyhead. outside is the only way i can get out of being hurt. aniwes, sch's nothing siol!! i find myself caught up with total bore as long im inside the cages of yiss. i spent my time with sharon outside. talking over certain private stuffs. any moment from today night hours, im dropping by swensens! yippee! dance dance... mi gonna drop by the underground.. O.o.. and the rest of thm goes clubbing at late nite.. just =) SMILE. happy frendship day everyone. AND YOU!!YES YOU!! specially to my bestie. RNNE&ROSE 4EVA *hugs & huggies* =).

CARELESS WHISPER.
2 Play Feat. Thomas Jules & Jucxi D.

"Time can never mend, The careless whisper of a good friend, To the heart and mind, Ignorance is kind, There's no comfort in the truth, Pain is all you'll find."

FINALLY, im back to my navyblue seat; staring thoughtfully at the computer screen. my mind were wired causing electrical trauma. flashback interwine & all i could think of is how depressed, cashless, lost i am. one day, tonnes of cash dissapeared right before my eye. inside my wallet, were dead clean & spacious.
depression leads me to cutting of hair. and now, cash gone. my heart crushed like a crimson paper.*smack!!* i need a break. i need a life. im slacking behind because of all of my personal feelings. confused & my brain were tight & crammed inside. love draws confusion. confused who to choose. distracted by ex's issue.*frowns*. ppl kept reminding me of hazwan. and. KEL <3<3>
TODAY, thankfully, i can breathe soundly once again. my cheeks cnt stop burning due to tremendous counts of laughter. *giggles*. sorry rnne, did u take medicine in the morning? u're soooh "crazy" & funny. GROTESQUE. u make me smile. the sepak takraws came & regent hunkies are dead keeyut. one smiled at me & waved 'hi'; i can feel my cheeks burning as i blushed to smile. *squuue*
and i saw.... that.... sec 3 guy.... IM SCREWED. im dead. u know why???~

.GHETTO GIRL = RICHIE SPICE.
a hard-to-get reggae song; which remarkably hotlisted.

"She'll never leave your side, She'll never stay away too far, Together we will ride anytime, Together we can win any war. "

" She'd never let you down, The most honest girl in town, The cleanest girl around, So proud that she can wear my crown.."

somehow, demented feelings ignites my blood circulation. i felt like a "jumping beans". swaying & crazy all over inside. at home; i kept muttering & create diff. types of voices. i miss my dance courses which probably be starting next weekend. cant wait to unleash the fury thats locked up inside. a futile attempt to stay shut was putten aside. DAMN; i aint this quiet before. this is not me. i realised that i should get back to my old ways. that atrocious rosey. wahahaks! now im really am laughing!.~ DONT HATE YOURSELF FOR WHO U ARE. HATE YOURSELF FOR WHO U ARE NOT. ~ believe in this. rose's words of wisdom. lolllsss.
aniwes, schools' gate is like a mandible to me. entering the jaws of fish. my hands' manacled & class is a prison to me. gosh; I HATE SCHOOL. am starting to think that school is nothing but for the sake of studying & interactions with frends. BOOORRING~ and ouh, rnne!! happy that she went back to normal. worried nuff bot her situation. LESSONS at class makes me go "wakaka!" & i dunt give a damn of what dwells within me. glad that im surrounded by the crazy china manhunt; haoushuai & mr mao mingxing (mr hair) :P. yong sheng lights up the darkness. always at my service. they are the candles of my aroma therapy. GOOODNITEE!

SMILE IN YOUR SLEEP = SILVERSTEIN.

"You say it's your way, you wont let me down, you lie through your teeth, you smile in your sleep."

to someone from sec3.
Should i trust her?that she wont let me down? or she's just lying through her teeth? Seems that its hard to trust humans nowadays. They themselves seems not to trust me. Its not what i expected, instead, her words means nothing to me nowadays. i have heavy hunches that all this while, the surroundings were covered with lies & pretend games. Another example is: some humans never interogate first but trusted fully on other ppls' evil mouths instead. TRUSTRUSTRUST. i realised how important that 'TRUST' is. Hence, ive got no say; what seems to happen; let it happen. let it flow and bifurcates the river. i dont have the strength to lock the flow. fate brings the river together & apart. sometimes the tide goes up, sometimes the tide goes down. i believe thats' the parcel of life.
MR ISHAK: he's the greatest gift from god. im fully treasured that i met him in my game of lyf. evrytime he console & advised me, my body felt a twinch of confidence & repentment. he's like my own family to me. besides that,
ME:ive been left hanging with poison running through my veins. my sack of sickness seems to burden every minute of the day. i can imagine earthquakes cracking every corner of my mind. every possible things grinds my temple. this makes me went back to my crib last friday. my father fetch me, and in i go to my bedroom & flared myself up with dozens of pillows. eventually, i still turnup during cca, ive no heart to miss it. :)
................................. im off...........meeting frends.........iza off~

SING FOR ABSOLUTION - MUSE.

"there's nowhere left to hide, in no one to confide, the truth runs deep inside, and will never die."

I won't remain unrectified, and our souls won't be absolved. i have to recover every mistake i made this 'year of islam' (TAHUN ISLAM). i didnt get to 'fast' on those meaningful day. i guess, not all humans of islam realised this. reconstructing life is tough. but, its a pleasant way to remedy my way of life. sometimes, im feeling reluctant to go to sch. theres no sense of aura & irony between sch & me. with reasons on studying, remarkably i attended sch still. if not for important classlessons, u'll see me being absent for DAYS.
at least, todays sch's atmosphere relieves me. i had tonnes of laugh till it nearly burst my tummy. what suprises me is; mr ishak goes tictactoe. when ain entered our mt classrm, mr ishak goes.. "nak carik siape darling?(ibrahim!)ohh..ibrahim darling kau??(eh, tak!)ah.. igt ibrahim darling kau..(terima kasih cikgu)..sama - sama kasih.." its like, the class goes wackho everytime he does a tictactoe joke. my friends (yana, kasha,rnne,huda etc) & me encountered many uncountable silly moments too. besides that, both aisha & me discovered each other interests on metals. :P
kel??: he's no online lately..hai ya....
kerek??: sorry, im dumbass calculatively confused to think abt it right now; though it became the topic for the day to many girls. someone saw this, saw that.. . maybe, i prefer to keep this confidential for the moment time being. :P:P:P

and i believe:
once u suffer; remember that someone is suffering more than YOU.