What love really is without you?

Cause love is about me and you.

What happenned yesterday; continues to haunt me.
I could cry no more. I could sleep no more.

Life is pathetic.

Yesterday (30 november) was sure a day to note down.
Besides above, I spot many of my friends 'A' @ Vivo.

Weird but true.

From Akashah to Afiq to Asmirah to Anuar to Amin to Ayu to Acel etc!
Hahaha. I wonder if its 'A' day yesterday.

I even got a new job.
My previous @ Zara can throw away jauh-jauh.

The branch is located either at Fareast Plaza or Vivo.
I've yet to choose one.

Deep confusion. But I have to confirm by tonight to the superiour.


Sorry for not being online for 3 solid days btw.
im going out now, be back late night. goodbye.

Finally, Dad & Mum have finalised the right motorcycle to buy.

The colour is a combination of White & Blue.

Now he has a better work, A better pay.
This time, it's located on an island. No more condominiums that sort.
Don't worry, his car is still alive (:

Lately, I don't feel good.
Got bad feelings that someone out there is up to break my heart.

MSN-ed Bib late night yesterday.

Ohmy, hate to say. What he said is really true.

I must ask, I must be brave.
BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

but when?

Not another one.
Another one who's up to chew & spit me out.

Quit playing games with my heart.

I really had enough of pretenders.
Fellow "friends" who's also just using me as they pleased.
When they don't need me, they just. THROW ME.

All because they found SOMEONE NEW & SHINY.

True lovers and friends know u're a good egg;
even though u're a little cracked.

What matters most is we accept each others' flaws.

ARGH, fine go ahead.
Hurt me all you want.

I guessed I'm pretty used to it.

Had full comfort & services @ Starbucks Coffee.

What's more is the irresistable, addictive aroma.

Bought a black long-sleeve like coat @ Osmose.

It costs alot! But I don't mind since its eye-catching.
Comfortable, silky & tight-fitting. LOVE IT(:

Today is the 3rd day I fell sick.
Instead it gets even worser!

MY voice? gone.
MY temperature? 39degrees.
MY throat? 101% itchy!
MY head? fucking giddy!

ARGH. I even slept with sweaters on.

Darn, I'm really craving for fish porridge & hot mocha. SIGHS.

Now I'm at my sister house.
Chatting & Playing ps2 with Riki.

Omg I just adore "Crash Bandicott"!
Cunning & Cute. Especially its Morhog hair. *smiles*

Brother now has his 2nd bike after the accident happenned recently.
Well.. this time the color was striking orange.

Dad too planned to buy a bike. Since he got a car already.
A bike can be used for other purposes.

ARGH! They are like buying something, and I bought NOTHING.


I need money.


ARGH!

Like I expected, another gruesome quarell took place late at night.

It was 4.10am exactly when I can finally touch my pillows & rest.
Ya rite, I was the cause you dumped your bestfriend huh?
Ppl treat me like I'm always wrong! And they're fucking right.

Blame me all you want. Liars!

Oh yeah, I just want to say for those who are up to fool me,
Just quit playing games with my heart.

I'm a human too, I got feelings like everybody do.

I don't lie, yet you guys have the nerves to lie to me.
And when I found out, all you guys gave was excuses.

OH MY GOD.

Please.

PLEASE. Don't treat me this way.

If we love somebody could it be this strong?

Please don't treat me this way.

Don't play with my feelings.
Don't make my heart cry, once again.


FYI: Doesn't mean the olds' love is true. Doesn't mean the youngs' love is untrue.
Qoute: Age does not protect u from love; But love to some extent protect u from age.(:

Today did something quite practical.
Went all the way to Bedok.
Miss my hometown, TAMPINES!

Yes, I belong there. All my cousins is there.

Only that I'm clueless since a few years ago why must I be at Bukit Botak? *sighs*. East to West siaks. But I love my yusoffians hunnehs.(: Especially the groovy techs! OMG, they're leavink. *loads of sighs*

I myself do not know if I'm leaving YISS for good. *thousands of sighs*
I did my worst for POA! ARGGH.

Ok. enough of songehs. Bye.

Nothing special happened today.
Common stuffs, common ppls that I see on the Mrt.
Zebra-tee. lol.
Only that a few times, I heard somebody calling out to me.
I don't really see who it was. whatever it is..

I'm sorry, Sugardaddy.
It's not that I don't want to expose my overdosed problems.
U know I always tell when I have one.
But this time, I just don't feel the need to.
Even if I tell, I don't think I will feel any better.

PS/Don't think that we guys are leaving u off alone.

I'm missing someone right now. BADLY.
How I wish that someone knew it, that I really (am) mean it.
As days passed, my heart grows even fonder.
Will you ever know? *sighs*

Little as u knew, I always think about u.

I cried. I need someone to talk to. I need to unplugged myself out. But, noone; The suitable one was there to be with me. Only this blog I can turn to. I know it may be a stupid to cry over my weird thinking, but read. Read to what I'm going to type.

Am I really living? I don't believe this. I don't believe that I'm really typing. I don't believe the fact that I'm Sixteen.
I laid on my loved ones. I don't want to loose them. I can't accept the fact I'm going to loose them. I only meet them in this world. What if I never meet them again in another world? I love them! Please.. I love them!
In this world, It's temporary. In other world, it's forever!

Moreover I don't want to loose my MOM. I want to be with her forever. Though nobody is perfect, She's perfect in my eyes. I just.. love her. I don't want any other mom.

Wait a minute, in other world.. I must live forever? No end? Ya ALLAH Ya Tuhanku. Ampun kan lah Dosaku! I wonder how tough it takes to live forever? I'm going crazy.
I must be good, I must repent..


I live once, I must use it wisely.

JEREMY SUMPTER.

I love Jeremy.

Oh my, he's georgeous. I can't resist this irresistable guy. I've been observing, noticing, growing up with him. Since he was a kid, he had started to play several roles until he became.. a Hero. *smiles*

Well. I'm not really obsessed towards him. You know? Kissing posters& stuff like that? Just a huge but plain celebrity crush. Remember Cinta Bollywood? They say : Be obsessed but not too obsessed. You know what will happen in the end don't you? Same goes to the sayings : Don't take your guy as your everything coz when they're gone you have nothing. Watch out. It's really true.

So this really teaches us some things in life, right? Hmm..

18th.a specialDAY.i know, they know, u don' know.it's for me to knowand for you to find out. guess what? Nabila applied for a job @ Rusdan's workplace. Ohno! I was like saying to him, prepare for the worst. He even remind the whole staffs about her. *huahuahua*I went to Vivo AGAIN. yeah, that's our workplace. With my loved ones. So, it's no big deal I went there. I even memorised 3/4 of the vivo map already. *huahuahua*The used-to-go-town peoples even start to hang out over there. Ye.. Mestilah.. town kan dah basi. *huahuahua*OH! BTW,Not only me regard 18th as my special day. My parents too. Guess what again guys? *jengjengjeng* they won a lott......

feeling down, feeling emotional.
But I'm not an emo. you know? slit wrist & stuff? darn, that's not me.

I'm just too.. UPSET.

Im sorry to all my loved ones first&foremostly.
You guys should know.. that I spent little quality time with each & everyone of you. I'm just too busy nowadays. I did not mean to neglect some of you, really.
Sorry to Doinks..
Sorry to my guy-friends..
Sorry to my girl-friends..
Sorry to my Family..
Im Sorry Mum, Dad.. U both still remember how I used to wish you both everyday "goodnight"? Now I did'nt even have the time to. At home from morning til afternoon.. the house was like.. so empty. EVERYBODY in the house have hard times to keep up with each other.

Don't say I will leave u all, I love u. And I will always keep u all close to my heart.
PROMISE.

Sounds lucky!

that 3 person in total treated me eating out today.
& 1 person per different meal, different timing. x)
Oh well, since my tank is full..
Did some lyrics-reading today after reaching home.
I enjoy doing it, REALLY. It's like meaningfull & inspires myself somehow.
The words it use is just too.. beautiful.

Check this out.
Peterpan- Di atas normal.

Pikiranku tak dapat ku mengerti
Kaki di kepala kepala di kaki
Pikiranku patutnya menyadari
Siapa yang harus dan tak harus ku cari
Tetapi tak dapatku mengerti

Sesuatu yang baru ku sadari
Kau tinggalkanku tanpa sebab yang pasti
Sesuatu yang harusnya terjadi
Kau sakiti aku kau yang harus ku benci
Tetapi tak dapatku menyesal dapatku mengerti

Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai
Dapatku menertawai dapatku mengerti
Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang telah mati
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci
Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang tak kembali
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci

Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai
Dapatku menertawai dapatku
Menertawai dapatku mengerti

Oooh... ku mencari tetap tak dapat ku temui
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci

MONDAY 13november2006. Eaten:3plates of chicken rice.Time I reached home: 6.45pm.
Today was.. tiring I guess? =\ (SORT OF) I felt alive but restless. Accompanied my pretty godsis to apply for a job. Went to.. MANGO(headnods!), WAREHOUSE(headnods!), GAP(headshakes!) & PULL&BEAR(headnods!).I just luurrve those Belts-over-dresses @ WAREHOUSE. =) I'm soo falling in love with it! Especially those Indies-like clothes @ GAP. WOWS.U girls should really check it out. =)

Back from: Interview @ Vivo.C Miss-ing: Doinks.
Feeling: CRESTFALLEN :((
Reason for feeling "CRESTFALLEN": Well.. This is how it goes.

Lately, seems that NOTHING was right between me & one of that twin. In the end, as we all might expected : A heavy quarell occured between us. And I meant VERY HEAVY. We're like.. treating each other like a VOODOO DOLL! poking & cursing each other. :(( I would like to keep the inner details confidential though. I've no more tears to dispose.

Things went a little more smoothly as we went for interview @ ZARA. The employer were very cheerfull & down-to-earth type. I like that((: He gave us alot of advices,tips & explained a to z the speciality of ZARA. Even the other Twin {DIDI} apply for a job there. haha. TWINS! are just like Infrared. So ADORABLE. ((:

Still remember what my friend Ahmad said:
FRIENDS have no expiry date. :))

OK. not-so-short post for now. BUSY BUSY. Goodnight.

Back from: Vivo C.
Time: 7.30pm.

Recently bought : Green Roxy sleeveless top, Black jean miniskirt, Beads Embroided Necklace, Skyblue Cardigan w Sleeveless white.

Sorry to: My friends. I'm sorry I really have no time to visit your blog since fasting month. I really am busy. :((

Today was harsh. :(( I went to Vivo C. all the way, ALONE. A couple of Interviews have been slotted in my schedule & I must attend INDEPENDENTLY. My day got smoother as I observed my interesting surroudings. :)) THANKS to my two respectable people too
(u know who u are ) for talking to me on the phone throughout my journey.

Well, like I said previously, I encountered interesting surroundings. It all mostly happened at the MRT.
I could do nothing but to stare. So, I turned my head to the right.
At the right, I saw a group of Eurasians happily laughing & dancing over a music.
When I look to the front, there's this African guy with HUUUGE afro hair. (kalah rambut marcell dulu)
I looked to the left, *YUCKS* a primary sch girl is digging her nose away. NONCHALANTLY.
OMG. I could still imagine how she rolled those sticky substance like a tiny ball. *YUCKS!*
And so on...

ON interviews,
Bata & Toys'r'us called me in. *GULP*

Bata accepted to take me for a training. The salary includes my commision. 2 weeks that is! The only disadvantages is if I work there, there's no such thing as "OFF DAY". yikes, I dislike that kind. :((

For Toys'r'us, around 20 peoples applied for the job! And it will be very tough for me to be accepted. By luck maybe?

Haiz.

Back from: Eating Nasi Ayam&Whipped Potato @ Habourfront, Vivo city.

*pheww* I'm just too tired. :(( Alot of energy used up just for one huge mall. ok, VERY HUGE.
Not only we roamed around inside the mall, we went to look for a job. Many outlets we went to,
and the positive responses I received was from: Fila, Giant, Topshop/Topman, Minitoons.
Armani Exchange will be opening up soon, well! thats my next beautiful target. *evil smile*

After few rounds of walking, we decided to catch a movie.

What movie? : GRUDGE 2

Bought 2 combo meals altogether. Mine costs $8.50. Hotdog Combo Meal that is. With!! barbeque twisties. And the Hotdog with bread was like.. Fat.. Long.. and Juicy!! Who can ever resist?? Once I opened the plastic cover, my buddies was like desperate for a bite! Haha!! Not to mention actually, that we have a VERY HUGE appetite. :))

The Grudge 2 was very scary. Totally!! not for the faint-hearted. Moreover the screen is damn huge! And the ghost was like damn huge too! And the ending was not very good at all, and it also ended up in a very scary way. ALL DISSAPEARED.

O.m.g, I wished I am watching D.O.A. Or I should wait for Material Girls? Hmmpx.

Now Listening to: House Music: Calabria Remix by Eric Morillo/Randy Katana.

Back from: Accompanying Ibu to Salon (Hair Rebonding),
Buying Slippers, Nail Anemal (transparent pink),
Eating at KFC fast food Restaurant.

I have those polka-dot feeling today. My attire shows it all.
Polka-dot top, Polka-dot handbag, Polka-dot wallet! haha!

Yet I felt clean too with fresh white top color, white slippers & white teeth. ((:

Although I'm feeling all this, I felt worried too.
Worried about getting a job. BADLY!!
Got a helping hand from my Ibu first & foremostly. ((:
Second is from my dearest beloved friends.
Last but not least is from my godsister.

I told her off how dissapointed I am in killing my time at home, outside..
and!! to wake up late. VERY LATE!!! afternoons is like mornings to me.
since she have friends devoted in sales, she will recommend me to them.

What Shops? well it's zara & a x.


can't wait..!! ((: till then.

I'm Back!
Been too busy this week. Let me summarise what happenned recently.(:
On monday, I went to "jalan raya" with the technicals.

Those who went: Me, Rusdan, Rusydi, Rafi, Rasul, Ramdhan, Rayyan, Rizyanti, Ridhuan, Rasyiqah, Rasyiqah's bf, Furqaan, Yan, Said, Surayah, Surayah's bf, Hamdan, Hamdan's gf, Faizal, Faizal's gf, Fadhilah, Fadilah's bf, Hafiz, Ian, Nazri

Went to ____ house: Rayyan, Yan, Nordin etc..

On tuesday,

Those who went: Me, Rusdan, Iqmal, Sufiyan, Maszlee, Firdaus, Insyirah, Atiqah, Azrin, Huda, Iman, Akil, Zairie, Zairie's gf, Ahmad, Ahmad's gf, Amirul

Went to ____ house: Firdaus, Mdm Rehana, Akil, Fairuz, Iqmal, Mazslee etc..

Cheeses, I had total fun interacting with Ahmad's gf, Nadia. She's pretty! Plus Zairie's gf, Nana. Haha! I wonder if she can "tahan" Zairie's cheekiness. Bleuk! Overall I guess Mdm Rey & Iqmal's mum dishes is the tastiest. Mdm Rey cooked seashell-shaped pasta with prego sauce. Delicious! Whilst Iqmal's mum cooked Mee Soto with different kinds of toppings to choose from. WOWS, I'm totally impressed. ((-: Too bad if u never get to taste it.Planned to go out with them again next week.
This time we bring along Khalil, Aisah, Ifwat, Haikal. (:
*YEAYS*