SUNDAY POST.

• WHERE IS THE LOVE?

Where is the time that we spent together? ALL WASTED ON OUR OWN.

My parents? Are busy working day and night. And by the time they got home, they get themselves straight to their bed and sleep. My brother? are also busy working day and night. Now that my sister don't stay with us again anymore, I felt the house I'm staying in, is.. not a house ANYMORE. The bonds we had are loss that I confronted my parents at night & blurted out what I felt from my HEART.

I cried by the front door & vanished through the night.

I'm sure some of my friends are aware about this. Thanks for the positive advices & encouragement. (= LOVE YOU ALL.

• THIS FEELING.. IS JUST TOO HARD TO EXPLAIN.

How am I supposed to say? I'm not strong enough to endure this pain.

• First, was a very awful break-up.
• Next, I met a guy. I remembered that he used to be there for me every day and night. Now, where the hell is he?
• Another guy. He's related to the previous. And when things was right and that I started to fall for him, he's gone. He may be cursed by previous him maybe?

I MSN-ED a guy named FAHMI lately. It's touching that we ended up almost the same way. He gave up, I almost. Mainly because I'm never too scared to fall in love again. IM USED TO IT, that's why.

TUESDAY POST.

• THE WEATHER IS GETTING WORSER THAN I THOUGHT.

Im bored of my schedule today so I decided to hang out at 6pm, ALONE. Last minute, my cute 3rd floor neighbour decided to tag along. She wanted BLUEBERRY WAFFLES badly. Hihs (=

We hang-ed till 8plus and by the time we wanted to set outselves home, the rain was DAMN HEAVY. And i meant DAMN!~ my umbrella did'nt seem to help me at all OKAY! my leg was half-covered with water. ARGH. I complained ALL THE WAY till I set my toes infront of the doorstep.

I chatted with MATT on the phone late night (wednesday morning) . OUW~ he's leaving on thursday morning instead. He stori-ed me about his International school and how he was brought up. INTERESTING BEDTIME STORIES. hihs. (=

Then EEKIN called me up at 4am~ WTHELL!!! that's .. IRRITATING. my beauty sleep is spoiled. HAHAHAH. How could you. =.= HAHAHAH. ANYWAY, I GTG.~

SUNDAY POST.

• WHAT AN UN-LUCKY SUNDAY. RIGHT EEQAH?

Just as I thought that the day would turn out right, DAMN! I WAS SO WRONG.

The moment we reached there, the rain only drizzled. [ OK. NVM] The moment we get ourselves into the pool, the rain.. poured heavily! [ WTH~ ] I only get to feel the water for 1 pathetic minute OKAY! T-S-K.

Guys are everywhere. I turned right, left, behind, infront. GUYS GUYS GUYS~ Except down and up of course. LOLS! dapat juga bersihkan mata. hihs. (x

and.. MATT CAME!~ with his boy-friends. One of them is interested in Eeqah! "hahaha. ada hati yer, tengok lah umurnya. khekhekhe" It was fun though we never actually get to swim EVEN. (=

• HOME ALONE.

Seems like I've been ston-ing at home alone for 2 complete days. Except LATE LATE NIGHTS. I could have go out searching for fun, but the weather.. hold me back home =\ . TSK.

And by the time I woke up, it's like 2PM! Nak watch teevee lain, mamams lain, mandik lain, surf net lain. It took alot of time y'know. =\

Today,

• I ate those MERRY SURPRISE PIZZAS,
• drank BANANA SOY BEAN MILK,
• & 2 plates of NASI W KARI KEPALA IKAN. (=

I love today menus. lols-

I SMSED MATTHEW like from 5pm till now. AND ITS 10PM already! HAHAHA. he's..a very charming chap. (x MIXED OKEH! And he's going back to MLYSIA international school in few days time. Coming back SPORE? MARCH! SOBS. but i'm glad he'll stay here PERMANENTLY.

Besides that, I've been wondering where KIMMIE & AHMAD had gone to. I MISS THEM SO. Hoping to receive a msg from them, soon. SIGHS.

OH GOD. I forgot there's this movie "PEREMPUAN" showing now. I better go.

THURSDAY POST.

• I HATE THIS KIND OF WEATHER.

the weather is odd for 2 days now. One moment it was blazing hot; the next it rained heavily. I even halfway slept on the cold floor even before i could blog. =\

Tried to contact KIMMIE KIUT-NESS about cancelling, but to no avail.

Today I did some mini - shopping. Bought pearls necklace & polkadot scarf. halfway, met DON & TOYOL. off to IMM to meet RAFI. There.. we choked out our usual craps. (= Sorry fo poking & kicking eu guys. WAKHAKA.

Collided into some peoples like..

• 4e4 mates.
• Horng yu and partner.
• Khartik and Fahzil.
• Amalina and partner.
• Alisha etc..

Next we're off to JURONG POINT. Had our yummy dinner. (= Since my big baby stomach is demanding for mamams.

GLENN called. Finally HIDAYAH is back!

my honey girl-friend. Never contacted her since November. I miss her so. Planned to go for a swim at JURONG EAST COMPLEX right after we take our results.

YEAYS! I just can't wait.

• Lamanya bercinta
  Bukan tanda SAYANG.
• Sayang dan menyayang
  Bukan tanda SETIA.
• Setia di bibir
  Tak pasti di hati
  Itulah mainan sewaktu BERKASIH.

love, it's a feeling that is hard to explain.

• I DREAMT OF RUSDAN 4DAYS - STRAIGHT.

Tsk. I wonder why? =\ The same damn dream ok!! ARGH.*pull hairs* I don't even ask for it, ANYWAY.

Lately, I've been busy hanging out.

• With AHMAD. - Vivo & burger king.
• With TUAH. - lepaks like nobodys' business.
• With ELFIAN & KIN - cafe' at JP.
• With PARENTS - TJ complex & BugisJ.
• With GUYFRIENDS - Town & Vivo.
• With DAN & TOYOL - Westmall & burger king.

Thursday I'll be out with KIMMIE (Ahmad's cousin), to Sentosa.

Oh god! I'm so excited. I love beaches. (=

• Pretending to be happy.

" I belong to me I, don't belong to u my, heart is my possesion I, be my own reflection "

Had a mesmorising conversation with Mum last night.

I poured all my miseries/memories : HIM, SHE, HER.
She poured all her miseries/memories drg her teenage years: GUYS, SACRIFISE.

I told her "after all I done for them, this is what I get mum"

I want to thank Ayrill, Tuah, Ahmad etc..
for being there for me.
for being a tissue to wipe my tears.
for being a listening ear.

Whatever ur choice is, I hope u made the right one.

It sucks when people ask u to find someone better than them.
AFTER ALL WE DONE FOR THEM.

After all proofs that we still need them.

Who knows that someone better might be someone worser?
I don't wish to be abandoned-ly, mother fucking-ly hurt again.

I never suffered this much towards someone before, truthfully.
Even after all u done, it won't cause changes to my feelings.

U escaped reality. I'm afraid, u make the wrong move.
It will make your life even un-happier.

LIFE MUST GO ON? after all that happens? D'OH!

Tonight, I hope u fulfill my one last wish.
" Ya Allah, tolonglah hambamu ini. Tiada siapa yg boleh menolong selainmu Ya Allah. "

U thought that by having new, it would solve what we've gone through now.
I'm afraid it wont honey, obviously.
UNFORTUNATELY, u're running away from reality.

but I'm glad. U do not hate me. U accepted the book I've given to u.

• Inside the book, indicates our memories.

I saw u cried, several times.
I know deep down, u do not want this. U're confused.

I won't beg anymore. I'll see what fate will bring me.

"God, I need guidance from U. I need the strength."

I must not be weak. Mum said that, Rafi etc..
I must not let my weakness control my mind, my heart.
I MUST NOT. TSK.

Bought clothes @ U2 by G2000.
Since its associated with Wing Tai company, you should know how high the quality of fabric is.

• One deep purple & One deepest red.

It's not like any other tees, it has its very own unique designs.
OH WELL, Back to my life story. CONGRATULATIONS.

I lost my heart, I lost my soul.

"Setia di bibir, tak pasti di hati. Itulah mainan waktu berkasih"

No one can help me now. I'm HELPLESS.
Mummy has been talking bout him & my ears was like.. BURNING!

Inside the car, Inside my room, Dining room..
the topic of him CONFIRM PLUS GST comes out.

Haiz. I MISS YOU DEARLY.

Thanks Ahmad! for advising me, being there for me when I'm in need.
SIGHS.