LOVE.
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
MORE SAYINGS.
When u're in love, all i had to say is: dont be TOO IN LOVE. just be in love, in a healthy way.
U know why, it's all because it wont last, it will end. if not now, it will soon. they say "hottest love have coldest ends". i dont want to see u terribly miserable in the end. just because u're SOO IN LOVE.
When u have a boyfriend, dont be over TOO PROUD just because u have him. he may be UR boyfriend, but he's certainly not ur husband u can boast about. he's not that hot anyway. even he is, there's certainly a guy MORE hotter than ur boyfriend.we're still young friends. just b in love, in a very acceptable way & limit.
if u dont accept my sayings, remember. this is my blog. ive my own right to list this. i post this specially for my teck whye friends. :) lotsa love.

PHOTO TIME.
THIS IS MOHD RAUL
ILHAN. MY SIS 2ND BABY. 1 month. ISNT
HE CUTE!?
i can't resist him everytime he's beside me. especially when he's smiling, sleeping or staring with it's big black eyes.



MY SISTER, ROSE IDARITA. DONT GET OUR NAMES WRONG. MINE'S ROSE IDARIZA. She's 22. Married. i took her experience as examples. She's going through alot. both a young mother & daughter. i respect her for that.






OKAY. THAT IS ME. young & confused. so windy, that my hair gone messy all over.






MY MUM & RIKI! I love riki! he's so photogenic & his smiles is what attracted me. moreover, he's talented at singing all sorts of song. from jiwang to reggae, from cartoon to techno! even alternatives from hot hot heat. rock song, hysteria from muse. :) he's multi talented. he love soccer to the core i tell u that. he will cry if he's not in jersey or lost his balls. if u switch on a soccer channel, u'll be seeing him cheering like demented person.




MY BRO IN RED. ROFIAN. 20 this year. even though he's naughty, he have a good heart. he's sooo loyal to his girlfriend. which is hard for me to see loyal nitec, ite guys nowadays. luckily my bro is one of them whom u can called a faithful human.

WARMLESS ON THE SOUL.
Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make.
And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.
I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.
You're the one, and in you I confide.
Missing my blardey cute nieces; Mohd Raul Ilhan, Riki Irfan. Nothing can compare in this world to them both. They're officially not staying with me anymore. That's a total Heartbreak. im such an emotional cripple. sobs. They're staying at our 2nd home. Recently, my parents planned on a way that i can be with Riki & Raul 24/7 365 days. But .. we have not come to decision yet.
Besides that, I'd taken half-day leave today. Im having sore eyes, slight fever & sciatica simultaneously. those sciatic are hurting me now and then. i'd collided with B guy tonnes of time, even when im taking leave during recess. "skarang mo settle exam dulu.. ako mo pass. oi plabuto.. ako nk kena belajar .. caos. :)"
BAK KATA ORG MELAYU:
Susah dulu Senang Kemudian. BODOH!

ME INSIDE.
Giving in to what has got me
Feeling claustrophobic, scarred
Severed me from all emotion
Life is just too fucking hard
SNAP! Your face was all it took
Cuz this need ain't doin' me no good
Fall on my face, but can't you see?
This fucking life is KILLING ME!

Totally confused. im fully consumed with many kind of feelings. how am i supposed to describe it? im feeling full of hysteria, at the same time; i can't stop blushing, im traumatised, happy, scared, worried..
I got a shocking news. jeng jeng jeng! "Love Struck" ...SOMEONE admires me. i don't really realised it at first, but as days goes by, im starting to notice those weird events. i passed by these group of guys & everytime i got this uneasy feelings abt them. they stared at me in unusual way. moreover, recently .. i drop by their class wanting to chat with my friends & those group of guys start staring & whispering to each other abt me!. i don't know who but someone said im pretty(whthehell, hehe) ..they all smiled at me except for my old bud. he called out to me. OMG. not only that. i received news .. SOMEONE admirers me. but WHO?who's the criminal who want to steal my heart?. but i know & i heard its one of the guys. i know them. ARGHH. :) making me more confused than usual.

NOT ONLY THAT. i felt totally glad that im choreographing dance with shima, fira for installation. plus, The Pimpjuice invited me. well oh well HOW HAPPY I AM!. but.. i need a break. mid year is around the corner. Suprisingly i only failed my ss for class test. im studying like a geek at school & home. wellll, for the sake of having a fucking good future; ladies & gentleguys.

I believe : "If theres a will, theres a way."
Never beyond remedy. - Rose.

From the darkness I walk into the light,
From the day I walk into the night,
From the shadows I will appear,
With a message for all who will hear.
For the weak of heart I will be strong,
To the defenders of faith I will belong,
Till the last of us fight till we die ,
Till the keys of the love are mine.
All stand together for the world to see,
Now the time is right to live out all our dreams,
Say the words forever, your strength will never leave,
If you want to win the fight, say "I believe" .

The reason i'd never update my blog for the past few days is simply because im having a fever. nauseating now & then. is this some kind of phantasmagoria? as i never stop being sick. almost every week, i did not attend any one of the day. are my phagocytes nt working? hrmmph. i can't get myself entertained easily nowadays.
moreover, i dont buy energy bags to suit myself as audience during speechday. i'd rather went off to a visit at hospital. heartbreaking moments, tears that never stop falling.late afternoon i forked up some time to be with azrie. we did a long walkathon & mrt trips. funfiiled aura, how i wished it would last, but it dont. that was thursday.
friday?saturday?today? i fell into a deep fever. i took a nap most of the time.all because of playing in the rain. all because of tears vented out of pain. believe it or not? i woke up 5pm today!

`AGITATED.- By Rose.
Set Me Free
Let Me Be
Who And What I Am
Why Can't You See?

You Never Seem To Understand
This Pain I Feel Is As Real
As Your Ignorance
Question Fate
As I Await Deliverance
Like A Fantastic Fork
In Bloody Meat
Don't Give Me Love
I Wanna Drowned In Your Deep Divide
Tumbleweed Sew The Seed
In This Ghost Town
You Never Know
What You'll See
When The Sun Goes Down
I Saw Him Last
In A Dream
He Seems To Astound
Heard Of His First Third Verse
Hands Bound
Taken From Me
In My Mind Empty
Without It Inside
Starving I Am The Deprived
Just Want It Once...
desires Strong
Resistance Is Weak
It's Hard To Win
When You've Got So Many Mouths To Feed
I Could Die
For All Of My Sins
No Not For That
For All That I Have Never Had
This Life's A Fight
For Fulfillment Inside
A War Of My Own Hindsight
Look Back With Resentment
Taken As I Find Myself
All Alone
Taken From Me

#END##
Updates:
I felt tired & frazzled. The next day After my 2.4km run test; which i did it very well (15mins,2ndgirl), My leg became weak. This cause difficulties for me to walk. My classmates noticed my actions & they adviced me to rest at Home.
Ive got no Mood. Ive totally worned off. But this dont actually prevented me from passing good grades. Supricingly, every test issued to me, i passed with flying roses. yakyaks. I have to thank MX&HS for tutoring me in Maths. Chinaguys & famously talented in Maths.
I don't want to be a sore Loser in the future. I want a good career. :)

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Weeoo. Baik uhh Rose, tk dtg skola lagi. Seperti biasa. freakingfish unhealthy. apesol dak jadi ngn kidney aku. kaki aku. sooo.. BLARDEYfucked up siak. penyakit. lagipon ade aper kt skola? sume menyakitkan hati aku jer.lagi-lagi ader ah budak express yg mempunyai penyakit luar biasa. mulut besar, pepek busuk. ckp org mcm2 tapi sendiri tk btol. kutok abes- abesan. bila dia sorang, tkder geng, tk berani. pengecut. aper lagi klu seseorang tu mcm galah, bibir, AJ, perut berbelon, pantat square. pekik mcm MONYET bangla. tkde adat, pompan tapi perangai mcm betina sial. aku malas nk layan, ni semua kerja budak2 kecik. nk mampos kt neraka per.
ada kawan pon, nanti drg TINGGALKAN. da jumpa baru, lupakan org. tkde value of frenship. nnti org physcho drg ckp AKU yg salah, drg percaya per. drg mane igt word TRUST. senang terpedaya. Ishishish. gi lah. percaya lah kata-kata setan. aku manenye besar nk paksa seseorang utk percaya aku. kawan da berapa lama pulak tu. nk tgk aku merana siak budak2 skrg. asalkan drg puaskan diri mereka. :) OKLORRR.
aku saket. buaiizzz.

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broken. shattered after i talked to haikal. quite a relief at the same time. maybe i felt better, or even worser. sch sucks with no thermal vibal tribal vibe concentration. only Houshuai&mingxing interest me. weeo. go ahead. ALL GOO!! let me loose evryone. all i know, deep inside. truth comes out even before u know it. trust is priceless & u cant buy it.
NEXT, the funny part flew by. out i went off frm sch gate. i cant belif it but. zuriel is right on my path, riding its bike accompanied by a frend. do he know how to ride a bike? zigzag & nearly hit me!. ahh. they laughed. tsk. *enlarged noseholes* afternoon went fine. and azrie planned to go for movie with me. yeys. cant wait. he's my life for now. :). thanks eqa fo supporting me with advices. i deeply appreciatte it. what frens are for rite. *.*

HOW IRONIC!!## . peeyuk. XD

today. certainly 'a' irony day. atrocious. i cant even resolute on what to do next. am i supposed to act happy? orrr, moaned all day? coz im into both. tskkk, my mum nagged at me almost every hour. gas mask & ear plugs anyone? & ppl lay low on me. my concerns are nutink to them. i wonder. But my throat's finally cleared as azrie send me tonnes of msgs. aaalllaala~ byk nyee. funny siak. i smsed zu. yeah! tmrw i'll be dropping by mcds to look fo zu. NTF. Haikal. =D. i kinda chat with him. he's fine finaally. his smiles overjoyed me. haix.

STILL. this dont. change all. i feel i like i wanna DIE. haish. intensive visit to hospital. i hope i'll be well asap. future aheads that ive yet to cover. :). BACK TO SCH TMRW. yikes. ###.