Events like Today is what i called, SATISFACTION.

I went with Fared & Godfather to {} to pick up Dayah.
It's a stupid moment because, we believed Godfather's words that her arrivals are located @ terminal 1. So, we boarded a skytrain to Terminal 1; for NOTHING. why? Because I checked with the Information counter, We supposed to go to the Terminal 2 & boarded the Shuttle Bus to get to Dayah. Nice.. we're nearly out of time!
Off we go, running like as if we're in the "Amazing Race". Lucky us, we're on time for her to arrive.

Sweet & vivacious girl she is, she bought me a bracelet, made from Thailand, chewing gums & a Rose. (:

Lesson Learnt: Never to believe Godfather's whenever we end up in Airport.

Afternoon, we went to j.east complex. 3 words, fun fun fun !
This time, we're off with : Rusdan, Rusdi, their cousin. Including Dayah.
It is fully packed with all kinds of race & age. A great sight seeing.

two thumbs up. (:

It's not only of having a cute , romantic, humorous, understanding, honest guy.
I kept wanting, if only theres' a guy;
- who touch my heart softly, cos he don't want me to get hurt.
- who accept my world & combine with his'.
- who brings my fav. candies instead of chocolates.
- who look into my eyes, says.. "I'm Sorry" & mean it.
- who never argue but discuss instead.
- who brings me home everytime but not everyday.
- who take me as i am now, not as i was before.

But what i want, can't always be fulfilled. But it's possible. I know, there will be this certain guy who have all of this out there. If only, i found him. If its' not now, who knows in the future without realising it? But i just can't confirm that anyway.two thumbs down.

I waited, filled with nervous anticipation. Finally,
It's the world cup time ! 2006. two thumbs up.

Midnight.

I'm no soccer connoisseur but i'll be supporting : Brazil (:
Ronaldo? Roberto carlos?

My husband will be joining world cup too, guess who ?
Raul Gonzales, of course. muacks & huggies;
to specially him.

My friend some supports Italy though. Some says Christiano etc.

Im in no mood today, seriously. Without Dayah, Rafi, im lost.
I killed my time with Godfather & fared. atleast, we had interesting conversation.
And i met that Kewell too. well, i dont think thats enough for me.

" Soccer, the antidote to Stress "

Minah tudung.

If only i can petition the Islamic authority to remove irrelavent verbiage from this typical minah tudungs.
Please, " Search your souls & be punctilious " ; Seriously.

Today is what i call a " Purblind" day. I & Dayah waited for IMM bus, impatiently.
Whilst waiting, 3 minah tudungs appeared before us. aged ard 14. They kept staring at us without fail.
The way they stared, : "kalau tampar, terbang sak ke london". I felt so distracted.

when we got to slowly hopped on bus, they're standing behind us which makes me so infuriated.
They blurted loudly, " naseb sia kita muder, ble dirik. klu tua, da mampos sak! hahaha! "
" ah - ah sak. kiter pon baik, tutop aurat, pakai tudong. bukan macam .. paham2 eh, hahaha! "

what the fish.

Such an inglorious act. So what if u wear a scarf & i dont ? when u showed unacceptable character & actions.
behaving badly in public & critisizing the older us. Such a big fat shame.
At the IMM mall, they're almost eveywhere we went. can't they just bug off ! Grr.

Atleast, we get to shop at Hot bun, Old Chang Kee, Sweetalk, Burger King. Food is my boyfriend. (:

And, i grab a heavy bite at coffee shop, mee hoon goreng. yummy yum yum. Off to westmall to blow our minds away. this time with Red & Godfather. Drop by Red house & off to Bbtk east Macdees.

Dayah leaving tmrw to Thailand. Two thumbs down.

1.Someone who does not understand art, literature, MUSIC is a complete PHILISTINISM. u should somehow consume phenobarbitone to help urself.
2.Self - centered humans should not be born in this world; Selfishness is a devil's character.
3.Selection of words like " ALAMAK " is " ALLAH & MAK ". better don't make fun out of it.
4.Minahs should search their souls, rather than vending out a stream of invective & killing their times underblock.
5.Minah tudungs should take pride with their scarfs & not take it just as a form of decoration.
6.Mat tappered should eliminate irrelevant verbiage & learn how to dress in a proper way, i guess chopstick legs aren't sexy enough, especially wearing those 3/4 tightpants. develope some virile qualities.
7.Stop giving a slur on my reputation. U ain't no better person to critisize others. Godamnit to Bitches & sluts.
8.Quit acting as if u're fuck gorgeous when u're not. Just be natural; ppl will accept & sees u as a warm beautiful person.
9.No use making ppl jealous as it won't equals to great effects.If me, i won't bother unduly acts. Undress ur eyes.
10.Stop dreaming of marrying ur boyfriend when u know it's UNFORSEEABLE & UNPREDICTABLE.

Hate this humans' undoings. lol.

Went to catch the opening movie of "The Omen".
Glad to say, its day whereas the Satanic son is born into this world;
Number of the devil represents today; 666. (:

Not to forget, my lovely mum birthday, hugs & kisses.

I feel like killing the movie screen ! the way each of them gets' killed got me so petrified.
Its' shocking every now & then. I guess i shouted a number of times whilst Rafi just laughed all the way.

Its' a movie everybody should watch. That son, is way too cute though. Toodles.

Extracted From "Hoobastank - IF ONLY."
i find it really meaningfull to my life..

I thought it wasn't wrong,
To hide from you,
simple truth.

I was scared,
I felt it all along,
But it hurt to much for me, to share.

If only I, had been this blind.
I'd have someone to hold on to.
IF only I, could change your mind,
If only I had known, If only I had you...

Finally understand,
Why things have happened,
And how it all could go so wrong.

Will this pain ever end?
'cause I don't think I can carry on.

Finally, back again to the white screen.

That pic taken yesterday inside my dad's car otw to tampines.

WHOLE DAY OVER THERE.

my cousin got married with a handsome & rich guy. wooowws. she's a teacher & she brought large crowd of her malay students. that's the awfull part becoz they kept disturbing my peace.WORSER STILL, TODAY, my bro caught by an accident! early morning.. ring it goes the telephone. and bro is at the hospital. now he's at home. can't move around even. awful wounds everywhere. my heart went heavy for him, well, he's my bro after all.

Since tiedly long i've updated. Today was awfully an exhausted outing ever. Went to St.Andrews boys sch which is located at Francis Thomas Drive, Potong Pasir. train after train, yawn after yawn, song after song. =/ but i've made many new friends, & get to keep in touch with some. after that, my friends & i went Bt.timah, al - azahar to grab heavy bites. yumyum! Ida & Aisah then went off seperate ways, whilst i & my sweet buddy killed our time at westmall till 8.45pm. fatigue, i dragged myself home.

Lesson learnt :

Shut the face, fuck the base.

My guy friends told me, Guys have two brains.
One is in their head, the other is their dick. *evil laughs*

Today i catched the movie " XMEN3 " with Godfather & Rafi ;
It's totally, emotional crippling bundled with all other feelings.
The movie is filled with romance, sacrifising , violence, hatred.
I just can't look at The Angel ! He's so charming with his blonde hair with his virile qualities.
Mistique is actually beautiful & too bad, Cyclop died. I don't mind that much because
my favourite, Wolverine became the hero & save the day.
Cheers.

Sunday.

First, I headed out to "Di Tanjong Katong" restaurant. i ordered multiple dishes since it's mums' treat.

Second, we're off to Orchard road, mum wants to find shoes whilst i want a shirt.

Then, we grab kfc bites, as "alas perut". Im so hungry, i just can't think. but . . .
when we arrived Lucky Plaza. i can smell the bangladesh aroma 2 metres away!
Ohmygosh, a stretch of lines of indonesians pros & womens are almost everywhere,
bangladesh guys by their side. eww ! that totally lost my appetite to grab carrot cake @ lucky plaza,
and we left, without a trace.


Saturday.

Hung out with the nonsensical gang :
Fared, Godfather, Rafi, Dayah, Chocolate, Songeh, Glenn (:

We're off to Orchard & Fahmy's gang tag along in same bus as us. Cute coincidence though.
Lepak - ing at Esplanade, was so a memory. guess what ? We saw a shop named " Ah pek ice cream"
When i pronounced it, its' totally with pleasure, it went " Ahhhhhhh pek! ice cream" All went excited by the way i said, and now i became their pleasure machine. Need the sound, & i'll sound it out for u.

THE CLICK FIVE - CATCH YOUR WAVE.
In the middle of the night,
That's when you caught my eye;
I chased you round in memories,
Through the breeze and the trees and you tease me
But hey

The clock's turning around
And you're still playing these games
It's such a waste to bring me down, down, down
Don't bring me down cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl, don't wanna let you go

When I turned sixteen
That's when I started to dream
I chased you round in memories
Through the breeze and the trees and you tease me
But hey!

Well every princess has her knight
And I'm still in it for the fight
Not givin' in, I'm gonna win, win, win
I'm gonna win cause

Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl,you've got an undertow
Hey girl,hey girl don't wanna let you go

I'm never gonna let you go..

This song? peoples been singing it to me lately. contagious but hotpick! thanked syafiq for the song.
My New addiction: Tell me; Bobby Valentino ft Lil Wayne. / Teman tapi Mesra; Ratu.

Updates: Yesterday i catched a new opening movie of "Voice" with Syuan, Rafi, Ramdhan aka Godfather, Farid aka Parking attendant [ he love to saman ppls ] , Hidayah, Glenn. too bad, Siva & Chocolate didnt tag along. Siva dropped by Burger King. we have a big Xmen Chats. debate with Glenn regarding Love & future Matters.
Totally P U R R F A C T quality time we had together. i can't stop digging into popcorn noisily, poking godfathers hand!, laugh for nothing, never let them drink their lemontea . out of cinema, all commented tht im the most nuisance human in tht cinema! SORRY!."voice" ain't that scary anyway, but terribly COMPLICATED! ! damn hard to understand. triple knots to untangle in that kind of story. Hidayah whose eyes half dead is the one who can know how the story went! But i get it in the end with her explanations. Overall the movie is a blast! u should catch tht movie. up next is Scary Movie 4 & Xmen. yippee. :)

I adore this lyric. Enjoy reading.
MANUSIA BIASA. -RADJA-
Seandainya ku bisa, inginku petik bintang;
Untukmu aku persembahkan,
Namun ku manusia, bukanlah dewa;
Yang kupunya hanyalah cinta kasih sayang.
Aku hanyalah manusia biasa;
Yang tak pernah lepas dari khilaf,
Ku mencuba merubah segalanya;
Mungkin ada kesempatan.
Aku juga merasa ingin dicinta;
Disanjung dipeluk selamanya,
Kalau memang kusalah berikan maaf;
Demi sumpah cinta yang pernah kita ucapkan.
In love, u would do anything to show that u love that someone.
Updates:
MYE finally started. What questions that contained in the paper are a total mystery to me, only i know what to expect. so far, SS paper is the only problem i encountered! I aint satisfied! the invigilator didnt tell us to start doing our papers & we're there sitting impatiently for her to give instructions. not only that, it eaten up our time & majority didn't get to complete the paper. including me. stupid idiot scumbag! did she know how exams meant so much to me? she don't even cared.
weird events happened today. like.. a group of either bv or hgrove guys following me & my frend. my frend felt uneasy so we crept to a safe sidewalk. suddenly, they called out my NAME!? they talked abt many things. i cant visioned who is the guy. AS USUAL, poor vision. there's so many guys.. & i have loads of guy frends within that area & school. i don't concentrate on their faces. too bad. :) . going home, we walked on the usual path near street soccer & so called "pondok" area. i don't realised theres tonnes of hillgrove guys blabla on that "pondok". suddenly, few guys called out to us. Nurul recognised a guy, Supyandi; which i know by name only. eww..greeted, disturbed & waved goodbyes. lols. i send Nurul first, since im having plenty of time to waste. VERY BAD, after i send her, i walked alone. there's this guy which i believed belong to that pondok group ride a bike & surround me. he ask for number siak! scary liaooo. i dont know, i say "tknk ah, maluuu.." haha! stupidest answer by mei gue. ive never been so stupid loike auntie. Go home alooone.. i saw david & zuriel inside macdonalds. ah, finally! zuriel. long time no see. :) loads&loads drug addicts scattered everywhere too. esp ard 3plus. their usual timing. i observed tht they buy it secretly from "pasar biru" boxes. im noone to complain anyway. last but not least, can u believe? a chinese man on the bike said " Nak Rokok?" to me! So embarrased, infront of the 4technicals. bustards. i quickly walkoff! i don't know why today seems so weird!!. weirder than yesterday. why eh?. hmps.
today on my IMISSYOU list -SOMEONE!!- -rnne mua bestiie- -fridge boii & rafi slang- -NURUL!- ...

LOVE.
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
MORE SAYINGS.
When u're in love, all i had to say is: dont be TOO IN LOVE. just be in love, in a healthy way.
U know why, it's all because it wont last, it will end. if not now, it will soon. they say "hottest love have coldest ends". i dont want to see u terribly miserable in the end. just because u're SOO IN LOVE.
When u have a boyfriend, dont be over TOO PROUD just because u have him. he may be UR boyfriend, but he's certainly not ur husband u can boast about. he's not that hot anyway. even he is, there's certainly a guy MORE hotter than ur boyfriend.we're still young friends. just b in love, in a very acceptable way & limit.
if u dont accept my sayings, remember. this is my blog. ive my own right to list this. i post this specially for my teck whye friends. :) lotsa love.

PHOTO TIME.
THIS IS MOHD RAUL
ILHAN. MY SIS 2ND BABY. 1 month. ISNT
HE CUTE!?
i can't resist him everytime he's beside me. especially when he's smiling, sleeping or staring with it's big black eyes.



MY SISTER, ROSE IDARITA. DONT GET OUR NAMES WRONG. MINE'S ROSE IDARIZA. She's 22. Married. i took her experience as examples. She's going through alot. both a young mother & daughter. i respect her for that.






OKAY. THAT IS ME. young & confused. so windy, that my hair gone messy all over.






MY MUM & RIKI! I love riki! he's so photogenic & his smiles is what attracted me. moreover, he's talented at singing all sorts of song. from jiwang to reggae, from cartoon to techno! even alternatives from hot hot heat. rock song, hysteria from muse. :) he's multi talented. he love soccer to the core i tell u that. he will cry if he's not in jersey or lost his balls. if u switch on a soccer channel, u'll be seeing him cheering like demented person.




MY BRO IN RED. ROFIAN. 20 this year. even though he's naughty, he have a good heart. he's sooo loyal to his girlfriend. which is hard for me to see loyal nitec, ite guys nowadays. luckily my bro is one of them whom u can called a faithful human.

WARMLESS ON THE SOUL.
Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make.
And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.
I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.
You're the one, and in you I confide.
Missing my blardey cute nieces; Mohd Raul Ilhan, Riki Irfan. Nothing can compare in this world to them both. They're officially not staying with me anymore. That's a total Heartbreak. im such an emotional cripple. sobs. They're staying at our 2nd home. Recently, my parents planned on a way that i can be with Riki & Raul 24/7 365 days. But .. we have not come to decision yet.
Besides that, I'd taken half-day leave today. Im having sore eyes, slight fever & sciatica simultaneously. those sciatic are hurting me now and then. i'd collided with B guy tonnes of time, even when im taking leave during recess. "skarang mo settle exam dulu.. ako mo pass. oi plabuto.. ako nk kena belajar .. caos. :)"
BAK KATA ORG MELAYU:
Susah dulu Senang Kemudian. BODOH!

ME INSIDE.
Giving in to what has got me
Feeling claustrophobic, scarred
Severed me from all emotion
Life is just too fucking hard
SNAP! Your face was all it took
Cuz this need ain't doin' me no good
Fall on my face, but can't you see?
This fucking life is KILLING ME!

Totally confused. im fully consumed with many kind of feelings. how am i supposed to describe it? im feeling full of hysteria, at the same time; i can't stop blushing, im traumatised, happy, scared, worried..
I got a shocking news. jeng jeng jeng! "Love Struck" ...SOMEONE admires me. i don't really realised it at first, but as days goes by, im starting to notice those weird events. i passed by these group of guys & everytime i got this uneasy feelings abt them. they stared at me in unusual way. moreover, recently .. i drop by their class wanting to chat with my friends & those group of guys start staring & whispering to each other abt me!. i don't know who but someone said im pretty(whthehell, hehe) ..they all smiled at me except for my old bud. he called out to me. OMG. not only that. i received news .. SOMEONE admirers me. but WHO?who's the criminal who want to steal my heart?. but i know & i heard its one of the guys. i know them. ARGHH. :) making me more confused than usual.

NOT ONLY THAT. i felt totally glad that im choreographing dance with shima, fira for installation. plus, The Pimpjuice invited me. well oh well HOW HAPPY I AM!. but.. i need a break. mid year is around the corner. Suprisingly i only failed my ss for class test. im studying like a geek at school & home. wellll, for the sake of having a fucking good future; ladies & gentleguys.

I believe : "If theres a will, theres a way."
Never beyond remedy. - Rose.

From the darkness I walk into the light,
From the day I walk into the night,
From the shadows I will appear,
With a message for all who will hear.
For the weak of heart I will be strong,
To the defenders of faith I will belong,
Till the last of us fight till we die ,
Till the keys of the love are mine.
All stand together for the world to see,
Now the time is right to live out all our dreams,
Say the words forever, your strength will never leave,
If you want to win the fight, say "I believe" .

The reason i'd never update my blog for the past few days is simply because im having a fever. nauseating now & then. is this some kind of phantasmagoria? as i never stop being sick. almost every week, i did not attend any one of the day. are my phagocytes nt working? hrmmph. i can't get myself entertained easily nowadays.
moreover, i dont buy energy bags to suit myself as audience during speechday. i'd rather went off to a visit at hospital. heartbreaking moments, tears that never stop falling.late afternoon i forked up some time to be with azrie. we did a long walkathon & mrt trips. funfiiled aura, how i wished it would last, but it dont. that was thursday.
friday?saturday?today? i fell into a deep fever. i took a nap most of the time.all because of playing in the rain. all because of tears vented out of pain. believe it or not? i woke up 5pm today!

`AGITATED.- By Rose.
Set Me Free
Let Me Be
Who And What I Am
Why Can't You See?

You Never Seem To Understand
This Pain I Feel Is As Real
As Your Ignorance
Question Fate
As I Await Deliverance
Like A Fantastic Fork
In Bloody Meat
Don't Give Me Love
I Wanna Drowned In Your Deep Divide
Tumbleweed Sew The Seed
In This Ghost Town
You Never Know
What You'll See
When The Sun Goes Down
I Saw Him Last
In A Dream
He Seems To Astound
Heard Of His First Third Verse
Hands Bound
Taken From Me
In My Mind Empty
Without It Inside
Starving I Am The Deprived
Just Want It Once...
desires Strong
Resistance Is Weak
It's Hard To Win
When You've Got So Many Mouths To Feed
I Could Die
For All Of My Sins
No Not For That
For All That I Have Never Had
This Life's A Fight
For Fulfillment Inside
A War Of My Own Hindsight
Look Back With Resentment
Taken As I Find Myself
All Alone
Taken From Me

#END##
Updates:
I felt tired & frazzled. The next day After my 2.4km run test; which i did it very well (15mins,2ndgirl), My leg became weak. This cause difficulties for me to walk. My classmates noticed my actions & they adviced me to rest at Home.
Ive got no Mood. Ive totally worned off. But this dont actually prevented me from passing good grades. Supricingly, every test issued to me, i passed with flying roses. yakyaks. I have to thank MX&HS for tutoring me in Maths. Chinaguys & famously talented in Maths.
I don't want to be a sore Loser in the future. I want a good career. :)

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Weeoo. Baik uhh Rose, tk dtg skola lagi. Seperti biasa. freakingfish unhealthy. apesol dak jadi ngn kidney aku. kaki aku. sooo.. BLARDEYfucked up siak. penyakit. lagipon ade aper kt skola? sume menyakitkan hati aku jer.lagi-lagi ader ah budak express yg mempunyai penyakit luar biasa. mulut besar, pepek busuk. ckp org mcm2 tapi sendiri tk btol. kutok abes- abesan. bila dia sorang, tkder geng, tk berani. pengecut. aper lagi klu seseorang tu mcm galah, bibir, AJ, perut berbelon, pantat square. pekik mcm MONYET bangla. tkde adat, pompan tapi perangai mcm betina sial. aku malas nk layan, ni semua kerja budak2 kecik. nk mampos kt neraka per.
ada kawan pon, nanti drg TINGGALKAN. da jumpa baru, lupakan org. tkde value of frenship. nnti org physcho drg ckp AKU yg salah, drg percaya per. drg mane igt word TRUST. senang terpedaya. Ishishish. gi lah. percaya lah kata-kata setan. aku manenye besar nk paksa seseorang utk percaya aku. kawan da berapa lama pulak tu. nk tgk aku merana siak budak2 skrg. asalkan drg puaskan diri mereka. :) OKLORRR.
aku saket. buaiizzz.

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broken. shattered after i talked to haikal. quite a relief at the same time. maybe i felt better, or even worser. sch sucks with no thermal vibal tribal vibe concentration. only Houshuai&mingxing interest me. weeo. go ahead. ALL GOO!! let me loose evryone. all i know, deep inside. truth comes out even before u know it. trust is priceless & u cant buy it.
NEXT, the funny part flew by. out i went off frm sch gate. i cant belif it but. zuriel is right on my path, riding its bike accompanied by a frend. do he know how to ride a bike? zigzag & nearly hit me!. ahh. they laughed. tsk. *enlarged noseholes* afternoon went fine. and azrie planned to go for movie with me. yeys. cant wait. he's my life for now. :). thanks eqa fo supporting me with advices. i deeply appreciatte it. what frens are for rite. *.*

HOW IRONIC!!## . peeyuk. XD

today. certainly 'a' irony day. atrocious. i cant even resolute on what to do next. am i supposed to act happy? orrr, moaned all day? coz im into both. tskkk, my mum nagged at me almost every hour. gas mask & ear plugs anyone? & ppl lay low on me. my concerns are nutink to them. i wonder. But my throat's finally cleared as azrie send me tonnes of msgs. aaalllaala~ byk nyee. funny siak. i smsed zu. yeah! tmrw i'll be dropping by mcds to look fo zu. NTF. Haikal. =D. i kinda chat with him. he's fine finaally. his smiles overjoyed me. haix.

STILL. this dont. change all. i feel i like i wanna DIE. haish. intensive visit to hospital. i hope i'll be well asap. future aheads that ive yet to cover. :). BACK TO SCH TMRW. yikes. ###.