sial habis.

what EVER just happenned today simply SUCK.

i'm so hating some of my schoolmates.they're a bunch of pretenders and cronies.i don't know why they're wasting their precious time bitching around,gossiping.even some bitches hates me for hell NO REASON.weird but true.

she rolled her eyes when she saw me, slammed the toilet door hard, thinking i was afraid of her.well actually, i don't bother.

i did not purposely came late to school,
and i'm trying my best for all my subjects,

AND I HATE BEING FORCED AND ORDERED BY PEOPLE,
AND I WANT PEOPLE TO STOP BUGGING ME & MY OWN PRIVATE LIFE.

i have my own rights. remember, it's my life.
HMMM..


well anyway, i did this just now. kinda bored actually.

Oh God of almighty.

sucha sticky weekend.

i've piles of assignments to complete & loads of events to attend for 2 consecutive days! probably one of the most tightest schedule which left me gutless,fatigued.

Moreover, MY BODY WAS BADLY DONE WITH by those fucking mosquitoes gang. i can't help scratching my legs! argh.. even NOW. -.- been badly BITE-D by since last wednesday night. Sighs.

Atleast ppls inside the Mrt just now did not realised it! Infact, i wore the concept of indierock. I guess most are amused and appreciatte the style.

And yeah.. At TM, there's TOO MANY HOT GUYS LAAAAA.. woosssh. all kinds of concept, NAME IT.. ALL R GENUINELY HOT. I told Refdee all about tit but he did'nt wanne listen. HAHAHA. Back to the story, many ppl stared at me like i'm one SUPERSTAR. HAHA. SERIOUSLY,JAKUN. Then, I received a total of 8 SMSES at one shot whilst i'm in mrt, ipod-ing. HAHA. 1st time.=\ HAHA.

hmm.. i'm tired. i guess i'll bounce. have a great weekend : D

never say i love yoo
if u really don't care.
never talk about feelings
if they are'nt really there.
never hold my hand
if u're going to break my heart.
never say u're going to
if u don't plan to start.
never look into my eyes
when all u do is lie.
never say hello
if u mean goodbye.
if u mean forever
then say u will try.
never say forever
cause forever makes me cry.

You know it suck when u're badly disparaged by people around you.

To receive such disparaging even an innocuous remarks, I TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

stop it sey!

I had enough of people who look lowly of me. hate me? I DON'T CARE?!?
like as if you're god damn perfect?

hmm..


for now. i guess i'm more worried about my homeworks and mr refdee hidayat.

the four chambers of my heart was deeply enclosed today.

things have not happened the way I wanted.

supposed to shop at Bugis with Zamry, but he had to attend to his friends for soccer.thankfully, he still sent me there(: He mentioned that Shamir has found a new girl. too bad, i did not even care even a bit.(:

I met up with fahreena & Farhad instead.i waited for them at Orchard mrt.

long after, i found out that Farhad got drunked when he fumbled drunkenly with the keys he's holding and difficulty in saying something.

we sadly headed home.

But yeah, atleast, I got to chat over phone with Refdee for five solid hours.(: His computer laa.alamak.spoiled sey.pfft!

Now I can't msn with him for the meantime.

Feeling etiolated yet blessed(:

You know why?

well.


because a kind lady and a kind religious man each offered me a share under one umbrella just now.SO BLESSED! God bless them for their good deeds.if not for both of them,i'll be fucking drench by now. (:

changed into a more simpler skin. because I like it being simple nowadays. haha.

no flowers,no stripes,no stars, no nothing.
hate it or love it, up to you(:

so yeah. feel free to tag!

HMMM..

1. I want to buy a new skirt.
2. I want to buy a new Osmose top.
3. I want to buy a new swimming suit.
4. I want to buy a new haversack bag.
5. I want to buy a new cutex (healthy pink & bronze).

and on top of all; I want to buy a new mobile phone!

Well..Still browsing down the new arrivals list.. till one precious mobile captures my heart.

Now I've collected enough cash & finallised my shopping list.For this week.. I'll be buying a new skirt & Osmose top. whoossh! I can't wait~ =))

I MISS REFDEE SO MUCH(: ..

I'm tired of the naggings I have to inhale.
-EVERY SINGLE DAY, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT-

I could'nt help myself but to throw my food away down the sink.
I'm sorry I can't be the daughter like you've imagined.
I'm sick of it.Nough said.

Now my computer purposely leaves me fuming and I have to use the laptop instead.What's wrong with the people and objects in this house?! GRR! Thank god I'm not born with stupid mindset, or you'll be seeing me, dead.

HMMM...

what should I post for today?

• today's weather?; suck to the core.
• today's mood?; bored to the core.
• today's schedules?; tight to the core.

I had tonnes of Maths homework to complete!Immediately after the YISS bell goes off,I straight away went back home like one GEEK hungry for homework!haha.

Thanks to my inseperable companions ((= for teaching me Maths. & of course! my beautiful tutor.

Now I can't upload my recent pictures.-.- terribly upset.MSN was and is fugging boring.must have been those MONDAY BLUES.

SIGHSSSSS. -.-

PEOPLE.i'm back!from two places.
- causeway point.
- night class for teenagers.

i'm so tired after all those walkings and such.supposed to accompany my dear friends celebrating good friday at Bugis but hell,all cancelled!bueys jer banyaks.tsk tsk.my dance mates are much more appreciated.accompanied reena and nora to Causeway p instead.=) checked out for new clothes and.. i bought a japanese-styled dress.whoos.georgeous.:P
anyway, i kinda found this newly introduced guy named dee.had further chats through msn and hell is so cute!i don't care that he's slightly younger than me.our birthday falls on the same month!no doubts.i simply loooooooooooooveeeeeeeeee chatting with him.:P every single night, no fails.
but of course i love chatting with my other buddies , YUSOFFIANS and gfs.outsiders are like farhad,hidayat,zul,kido!,wan k,am,dj lobs, wawan,mat!nordin,anis etc who is always there to chat with me.others not mentioned, sorry.anyway THANKS.i value it.

IDIOTSS!i'm really really ANGRY right now!mf ASSHOLESS!i dont want to school anymore!i don't want to study!i don't want to eat!i don't want to live!i'm sick of my life.for those who 'destroyed' me,THANKS EY! i hope you a fuggin happy to see me miserable.takde hati perut langsung!
i just got back from having practices at a unit near causeway point, tired.. happy..hungry.. sleepy.. and bad news suddenly aroused.my mum checked my friendster WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.wth!do you know how it feels to have your parents barged in your damn PERSONAL LIFE?seriously,i hate it! she purposely throw my clothes around the room and mess with my drawers.wth! im so tired cleaning up my room everyday okay!and i hate untidiness. i cant stand it! and i loss my bloody uni! arghhs.
besides,i guess i'm being too nice to guys!i regret that doing to some guys.now, don't dream i would be so nice to you guys.i CARE TOO MUCH and in the end, what u gave me?

1. this guy, if i don't sms, he won't sms!
2. this guy, tak pasal - pasal tak contact ,ada mataye. wth.
3. this guy, is actually attached! OMG!
4. this guy, too boring.
5. this guy, gets angry easily. sighs.
6. and this guy, tak pasal - pasal confused for no reason!, pastu lost contact.maybe he found someone new.and..he.. is the one i truly LOVE.sighs.

this is what i get.and for all this guys,i have to reject other guy's offer just because that i'm heartbroken.they acted nonchalant and happy whereas i'm here suffering like hell! nevermind, loosing them is no biggy.ok atleast they taught me something.not to be serious about LOVE.FOR NOW.

Feels like surrendur-ing myself & be the dead!i hate the month of march.its suck-ed the heaven out of me.every minute is hellish.=( hopefully,april will be better.i had enough of shits.some boys makes those shits!cikgu da macam tailong homework.sighs.maybe by now my friends will be awfully tired of hearing me grumbling,mumbling,complaining over such shitty matters.
my degree.. has gone up to 38.7.it's really high.i took half-day rest on the bed.no fan,no sweets,no entertainment.i badly need to get myself sweaty & healthy.yesterday night,i met up with anis.i gave back his jacket that i borrowed for 2 months.i really gonna miss that jacket. =( whenever im cold,i hold on to it.now, just forget it.anyway,i better go.i'm hungry!

that hot guy.
Saturday,i went to the Mrt control station to buy a standard ticket to cityhall.but then i collided with syahirah & my childhood friend.had some awesome chat that i had to delay my Mrt trip by 30 mins!i was late by then and i quickly made my move.i stand behind the yellow line lazily until someone who walked infront of me caught my eye.
he is so hot. (he's into rock)

• from the way he dressed
• to the way he walked
• to the way he present himself
• to the way he listened to his mp4.

everything about him is so hot. * melts* :P

his hair, cardigan, shoe, belt, haversack are hot.

seriously, he caught every of the girl's attention over there.can't be blame though.you know i never regret delaying my Mrt trip by 30 mins.hahaha.the good thing is,we both alight at citihall.the bad thing is,we're off to different places.i went for my dance prac and bought myself 2 dresses.wee.i'm gonna use it tmrw.

shit happens whenever i'm in good terms.the world hates me to be happy.the opportunity was given at a spilt seconds and then,it's gone.i wanted to try out in the speech competition but i wasn't given the opportunity to show my efforts infront of the class.of all the late nights practice.and now dad prevented me from going out just because my mum received a stupid sms saying that i was going to meet up with hidayah.what the hell is that?!i am not going to meet up with her.never i will.i was about to go out and borrow some library books and now, i have to forget about it!
some guys just don't appreciatte the care and concern i have for them.they acted nonchalant whereas they don't know or don't even CARE how worried i am for them!they make me feel like i'm unwanted!like "YOU" .. what ever wrong have i done to "you" that "you" have to do this to me?
one of the other guy EXPECTED me to sms him first.if i don't,he won't!what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously, i'm totally pissed off!!

PEOPLE.right now,i'm eating a chicken.lol, as if u care ey.i simply have no idea why i feel like blogging now, at this time?haah.siow!how am i today?still not well, still pissed.STILL NOT HAPPY.only my dearest mum makes me feel alive.yesterday,my parents & i had done some shopping at Johor.i bought 2 box of bubble yums,a pair of jeans,6 latest original dvds and a shirtee.it was awesome.
only then, i received two new shocking sms.and both of the guys wants me to be their girlfriend.omg.this is totally not the time!argh.rose kat johor pulak tu.i don't reply their im,their smses.and i kept receiving stupid calls with stupid numbers!whatever!i don't care.
now i only cared about my dance.the dance team ive been with for 3 solid years.and i'm back to meet up with them once again.

hello people.
i'm back, with a different url. shock? well no biggy.not that i want to run away from something.my previous blog simply suck.my ever dearest blog prevented me from entering.hell i don't know why.the only solution is to change the url.and it's done.phew.personally,i don't wish to blog because of certain reasons.as usual,boys.i don't know how should i start or is it of use to vent it anyway.

i was wondering why u got yourself so confused.i seriously do not understand you Zali.one minute you are fine and the rest of the minutes,hours,days, you're not.i miss you so bad and i cant help it at all.i wish i could talk to you again.my smile,my usual self,my everything is totally lost!i couldn't seem to find it anywhere.sighs.
i even storied this out to guys i'm close with and yesterday night i took the opportunity to tell it to Nordin.he really gave me good advices.shocking but true.and now all i could ever do is to just wait.im seriously fucking sad.=(

Zamry is coming back from Chalet soon.i cant wait to contact him and share both of our problems together.he's the closesr i have now besides Shamir.

Phew!I miss my home ALOT.never miss this much before.haha.anyway,I just got back from ECP.wee.it was FUN!only that,alot of matreps over there.i'm like SO DISGUSTED whenever i caught sight of them.but overall,it was perfectly awesome.ESPECIALLY my Mrt trip home with my friends.haha.moreover,i spent 70 bucks on just one and a halve solid day!sedih aku.i bought 1 top and 1 roxy slippers.the rest goes to food(: oh well.now i'm busy chatting with Zali.better go off.=P

WEE! IM BACK! haha.no big deal anyway.lol.anyway,been busy with my own personal life.Yet to update & decorate my blog.I find it meaningless to update often anyway.I rather keep my life more private this time.(: And peoples,I've changed my mobile number.feel free to reach me.Nudge me through Msn to get it.and if I can't reply to your msges,I apologise upon that.I've lots of friends to entertain though.heehs.

And today.nothing interesting happened.Suppose to meet up with this guy named Zani.I know him through his twin,Zali.They both are oh so hot.wee.haha.but too bad,I don't feel like going out.so,don't bother knowing about it.haha.ok!I'm off now.

The feeling of guilt still runs inside me. I wonder what am I suppose to do, what am I suppose to say, or what should I had done.

BOYS. - are difficult to deal with.

yesterday, I went out to ECP with Shamir. Guess what? I lost my fucking 40 bucks! BAGUS. I totally lost my mood going there but Shamir still insisted on going to ECP. Oh well, we carried on with our journey & reached there safely. (:

We spent the whole day together.
I'm loving every bits of it. (:


And today, the only good news is that I took the same bus with Arshad & Anis! I'm so happy to set my eyes on Anis again. Sighs, I miss him badly. I miss everything about him. If only he cared to know about it.