I cried. I need someone to talk to. I need to unplugged myself out. But, noone; The suitable one was there to be with me. Only this blog I can turn to. I know it may be a stupid to cry over my weird thinking, but read. Read to what I'm going to type.

Am I really living? I don't believe this. I don't believe that I'm really typing. I don't believe the fact that I'm Sixteen.
I laid on my loved ones. I don't want to loose them. I can't accept the fact I'm going to loose them. I only meet them in this world. What if I never meet them again in another world? I love them! Please.. I love them!
In this world, It's temporary. In other world, it's forever!

Moreover I don't want to loose my MOM. I want to be with her forever. Though nobody is perfect, She's perfect in my eyes. I just.. love her. I don't want any other mom.

Wait a minute, in other world.. I must live forever? No end? Ya ALLAH Ya Tuhanku. Ampun kan lah Dosaku! I wonder how tough it takes to live forever? I'm going crazy.
I must be good, I must repent..


I live once, I must use it wisely.

JEREMY SUMPTER.

I love Jeremy.

Oh my, he's georgeous. I can't resist this irresistable guy. I've been observing, noticing, growing up with him. Since he was a kid, he had started to play several roles until he became.. a Hero. *smiles*

Well. I'm not really obsessed towards him. You know? Kissing posters& stuff like that? Just a huge but plain celebrity crush. Remember Cinta Bollywood? They say : Be obsessed but not too obsessed. You know what will happen in the end don't you? Same goes to the sayings : Don't take your guy as your everything coz when they're gone you have nothing. Watch out. It's really true.

So this really teaches us some things in life, right? Hmm..

18th.a specialDAY.i know, they know, u don' know.it's for me to knowand for you to find out. guess what? Nabila applied for a job @ Rusdan's workplace. Ohno! I was like saying to him, prepare for the worst. He even remind the whole staffs about her. *huahuahua*I went to Vivo AGAIN. yeah, that's our workplace. With my loved ones. So, it's no big deal I went there. I even memorised 3/4 of the vivo map already. *huahuahua*The used-to-go-town peoples even start to hang out over there. Ye.. Mestilah.. town kan dah basi. *huahuahua*OH! BTW,Not only me regard 18th as my special day. My parents too. Guess what again guys? *jengjengjeng* they won a lott......

feeling down, feeling emotional.
But I'm not an emo. you know? slit wrist & stuff? darn, that's not me.

I'm just too.. UPSET.

Im sorry to all my loved ones first&foremostly.
You guys should know.. that I spent little quality time with each & everyone of you. I'm just too busy nowadays. I did not mean to neglect some of you, really.
Sorry to Doinks..
Sorry to my guy-friends..
Sorry to my girl-friends..
Sorry to my Family..
Im Sorry Mum, Dad.. U both still remember how I used to wish you both everyday "goodnight"? Now I did'nt even have the time to. At home from morning til afternoon.. the house was like.. so empty. EVERYBODY in the house have hard times to keep up with each other.

Don't say I will leave u all, I love u. And I will always keep u all close to my heart.
PROMISE.

Sounds lucky!

that 3 person in total treated me eating out today.
& 1 person per different meal, different timing. x)
Oh well, since my tank is full..
Did some lyrics-reading today after reaching home.
I enjoy doing it, REALLY. It's like meaningfull & inspires myself somehow.
The words it use is just too.. beautiful.

Check this out.
Peterpan- Di atas normal.

Pikiranku tak dapat ku mengerti
Kaki di kepala kepala di kaki
Pikiranku patutnya menyadari
Siapa yang harus dan tak harus ku cari
Tetapi tak dapatku mengerti

Sesuatu yang baru ku sadari
Kau tinggalkanku tanpa sebab yang pasti
Sesuatu yang harusnya terjadi
Kau sakiti aku kau yang harus ku benci
Tetapi tak dapatku menyesal dapatku mengerti

Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai
Dapatku menertawai dapatku mengerti
Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang telah mati
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci
Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang tak kembali
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci

Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai
Dapatku menertawai dapatku
Menertawai dapatku mengerti

Oooh... ku mencari tetap tak dapat ku temui
Ku mencari hati yang ku benci

MONDAY 13november2006. Eaten:3plates of chicken rice.Time I reached home: 6.45pm.
Today was.. tiring I guess? =\ (SORT OF) I felt alive but restless. Accompanied my pretty godsis to apply for a job. Went to.. MANGO(headnods!), WAREHOUSE(headnods!), GAP(headshakes!) & PULL&BEAR(headnods!).I just luurrve those Belts-over-dresses @ WAREHOUSE. =) I'm soo falling in love with it! Especially those Indies-like clothes @ GAP. WOWS.U girls should really check it out. =)

Back from: Interview @ Vivo.C Miss-ing: Doinks.
Feeling: CRESTFALLEN :((
Reason for feeling "CRESTFALLEN": Well.. This is how it goes.

Lately, seems that NOTHING was right between me & one of that twin. In the end, as we all might expected : A heavy quarell occured between us. And I meant VERY HEAVY. We're like.. treating each other like a VOODOO DOLL! poking & cursing each other. :(( I would like to keep the inner details confidential though. I've no more tears to dispose.

Things went a little more smoothly as we went for interview @ ZARA. The employer were very cheerfull & down-to-earth type. I like that((: He gave us alot of advices,tips & explained a to z the speciality of ZARA. Even the other Twin {DIDI} apply for a job there. haha. TWINS! are just like Infrared. So ADORABLE. ((:

Still remember what my friend Ahmad said:
FRIENDS have no expiry date. :))

OK. not-so-short post for now. BUSY BUSY. Goodnight.

Back from: Vivo C.
Time: 7.30pm.

Recently bought : Green Roxy sleeveless top, Black jean miniskirt, Beads Embroided Necklace, Skyblue Cardigan w Sleeveless white.

Sorry to: My friends. I'm sorry I really have no time to visit your blog since fasting month. I really am busy. :((

Today was harsh. :(( I went to Vivo C. all the way, ALONE. A couple of Interviews have been slotted in my schedule & I must attend INDEPENDENTLY. My day got smoother as I observed my interesting surroudings. :)) THANKS to my two respectable people too
(u know who u are ) for talking to me on the phone throughout my journey.

Well, like I said previously, I encountered interesting surroundings. It all mostly happened at the MRT.
I could do nothing but to stare. So, I turned my head to the right.
At the right, I saw a group of Eurasians happily laughing & dancing over a music.
When I look to the front, there's this African guy with HUUUGE afro hair. (kalah rambut marcell dulu)
I looked to the left, *YUCKS* a primary sch girl is digging her nose away. NONCHALANTLY.
OMG. I could still imagine how she rolled those sticky substance like a tiny ball. *YUCKS!*
And so on...

ON interviews,
Bata & Toys'r'us called me in. *GULP*

Bata accepted to take me for a training. The salary includes my commision. 2 weeks that is! The only disadvantages is if I work there, there's no such thing as "OFF DAY". yikes, I dislike that kind. :((

For Toys'r'us, around 20 peoples applied for the job! And it will be very tough for me to be accepted. By luck maybe?

Haiz.

Back from: Eating Nasi Ayam&Whipped Potato @ Habourfront, Vivo city.

*pheww* I'm just too tired. :(( Alot of energy used up just for one huge mall. ok, VERY HUGE.
Not only we roamed around inside the mall, we went to look for a job. Many outlets we went to,
and the positive responses I received was from: Fila, Giant, Topshop/Topman, Minitoons.
Armani Exchange will be opening up soon, well! thats my next beautiful target. *evil smile*

After few rounds of walking, we decided to catch a movie.

What movie? : GRUDGE 2

Bought 2 combo meals altogether. Mine costs $8.50. Hotdog Combo Meal that is. With!! barbeque twisties. And the Hotdog with bread was like.. Fat.. Long.. and Juicy!! Who can ever resist?? Once I opened the plastic cover, my buddies was like desperate for a bite! Haha!! Not to mention actually, that we have a VERY HUGE appetite. :))

The Grudge 2 was very scary. Totally!! not for the faint-hearted. Moreover the screen is damn huge! And the ghost was like damn huge too! And the ending was not very good at all, and it also ended up in a very scary way. ALL DISSAPEARED.

O.m.g, I wished I am watching D.O.A. Or I should wait for Material Girls? Hmmpx.

Now Listening to: House Music: Calabria Remix by Eric Morillo/Randy Katana.

Back from: Accompanying Ibu to Salon (Hair Rebonding),
Buying Slippers, Nail Anemal (transparent pink),
Eating at KFC fast food Restaurant.

I have those polka-dot feeling today. My attire shows it all.
Polka-dot top, Polka-dot handbag, Polka-dot wallet! haha!

Yet I felt clean too with fresh white top color, white slippers & white teeth. ((:

Although I'm feeling all this, I felt worried too.
Worried about getting a job. BADLY!!
Got a helping hand from my Ibu first & foremostly. ((:
Second is from my dearest beloved friends.
Last but not least is from my godsister.

I told her off how dissapointed I am in killing my time at home, outside..
and!! to wake up late. VERY LATE!!! afternoons is like mornings to me.
since she have friends devoted in sales, she will recommend me to them.

What Shops? well it's zara & a x.


can't wait..!! ((: till then.

I'm Back!
Been too busy this week. Let me summarise what happenned recently.(:
On monday, I went to "jalan raya" with the technicals.

Those who went: Me, Rusdan, Rusydi, Rafi, Rasul, Ramdhan, Rayyan, Rizyanti, Ridhuan, Rasyiqah, Rasyiqah's bf, Furqaan, Yan, Said, Surayah, Surayah's bf, Hamdan, Hamdan's gf, Faizal, Faizal's gf, Fadhilah, Fadilah's bf, Hafiz, Ian, Nazri

Went to ____ house: Rayyan, Yan, Nordin etc..

On tuesday,

Those who went: Me, Rusdan, Iqmal, Sufiyan, Maszlee, Firdaus, Insyirah, Atiqah, Azrin, Huda, Iman, Akil, Zairie, Zairie's gf, Ahmad, Ahmad's gf, Amirul

Went to ____ house: Firdaus, Mdm Rehana, Akil, Fairuz, Iqmal, Mazslee etc..

Cheeses, I had total fun interacting with Ahmad's gf, Nadia. She's pretty! Plus Zairie's gf, Nana. Haha! I wonder if she can "tahan" Zairie's cheekiness. Bleuk! Overall I guess Mdm Rey & Iqmal's mum dishes is the tastiest. Mdm Rey cooked seashell-shaped pasta with prego sauce. Delicious! Whilst Iqmal's mum cooked Mee Soto with different kinds of toppings to choose from. WOWS, I'm totally impressed. ((-: Too bad if u never get to taste it.Planned to go out with them again next week.
This time we bring along Khalil, Aisah, Ifwat, Haikal. (:
*YEAYS*

stress gila babi sak aku!
tak boleh angkat sey.

Perangai macam taik beruk!
Atleast beruk pun tak ada menyusahkan orang sangat macam dia.
Tak serik-serik ke dia curi, hilangkan benda orang, berhutang?
Bukan itu aja. Dah kena bedal rabak-rabak dari bapak dia, tapi masih buat lagi. Harap jer otak pandai dalam pelajaran, tapi pasal ini, tak boleh handle. bodoh sak.
Dah lama aku kawan dengan dia. Tapi dengan aku sekali dia kena kan.
Dah curi benda aku banyak, handphone lagi. Sekarang, bodoh sangat kasi hilang kan kawan aku punya videocamera. Reason dia semua macam biji kelentik dia! Serious sey. Sial la perangai. Siapa-siapa yang tahu pasal perkara ini, kau orang patut tahu la, jangan percayakan dia lagi, kalau tidak! harta kau jugak dia telan buat taik!

[English] I love you

[Polish] Ja kocham ciiebiie

[French] Je t'aiime

[Hindi] Hum tumhe pyar karte hae

[Czech] Miilujii te

[Slovakian] Lu'biim ta

[Italian] Tii amo

[Ukrainian] Ya tebe kahayu

[German] Iish liibe diish

[Chinese] Wo aii nii

[Greek] S' agapo

[Hawaian] Aloha wau iia oii

[Lithuianian] Tav myliiu

[Korean] Sa rang hae yo

[Japanese] Aii shii te ru

[Romanian] Te ubsec

[Bosnian] Bo iis te

[Albanian] Te dua

[Phillipino] Mahal kiita

[Spanish] Ti amo

[Portugese] Amo te

[Arabic] Annah be hebic

It's amazing how love can transform:
a normal person into a muddle-headed person;
a hot-tempered person into an even-tempered person;
an unromantic person into a romantic person;
a sane person into an insane person;
an unsuccessful person into a successful person;

They say: Behind every successful man there's a woman.
I guess my Ayah & Ibu obviously shows it all. If not for Ibu, my Ayah would not be as successful as now he is. Through thick & thin, Ibu has been there to help, catch & console Ayah. Until now..

Lucky is the man is the first love of a woman,
Luckier is the woman is the last love of a man.

Well, back to my life story..
Yesterday my family and I went to break our fast @ Habib Family Restaurant. As usual, ordered one of my favourites:
Thai Kway Teow Fried Noodles. ((-:
Received a last-minute call from my sister.
She persuaded us to accompany her with her husband & sons to Gaylang.
Even with our "baju-slack-nak-mampos", we still headed off to Gaylang.
Well "nak rasakan suasana nyer punya pasal"
Still can potray how badly I'd been treated outside Golden Chance.
Argh! better not talk about it. Till then..

The moment I saw you,
I can't seem to describe how happy I am to see you.
On that only 5 minutes, how we both wished that we could pootle all day once again like we used to. But we just have to wait, we just have to endure.

I spent the whole afternoon in the library yesterday. Seems to be so addicted to reading the Singapore's Most Popular Magazine & Gila-Gila magazine.

EXTRACTED FROM GILA-GILA MAGAZINE.
Bulan itu bulan Ramadhan.
Mona pergi dapur, dia nampak byk donut.
Hmm.. sedap. Apa lagi?! Dia NGAP lar.
Dia NGAP punyer NGAP.. Mina masuk dapur.
Mina nampak, Mina terperanjat.
"OI! kau buat aper tu!!!"
Mona terus muntah balik makanan tu.
"OI!! Da 14 donut kau telan, nak muntah balik buat aper!!"

[got to go, I'm off to gaylang]

Again, they refrain us from meeting each other.

How cruel can this world could be?

Just 1 tight minute I get to see you and then..
*poooffts* you're gone. Out of my sight.

There.. I'm alone. Only darkness able to accompany me home.
If I were to follow my heart, I would have attempt suicide.
I would have grab a gun,attach a silencer,insert 32 calibre bullets
& shoot myself in this cold night.

But I know that is stupid.. and impossible..

It's just that, I can't take this pain anymore.

It's difficult for both of us to endure & lace-up through this period of time.
Peoples around us tested our endurance for two weeks, but
they never vision how torturing its going to be.

Why must they interfere in our relationship?
Why must they be unhappy for us?

Tsk.. This left me no choice but to take the challange.

[JUST FOR U]

Meanwhile, back at home today..

I help my Ibu in making - Mushroom-shaped cornflakes cookies.
Trying not to be lackadaisical, I complete the tasks smoothly.
Moreover I will get my "upah".. ((-: $$$$$.

Ayah cooked for us Lemak Ayam Chilli Padi.

I smsed twin(rdn) after that & coicidentally
his mother is making cornflakes cookies too!
"KEPO! HAHA.."

For buka, he's eating Nasi Ayam Penyek.
Damn.. I've been craving that for a long time.

Oh well.. better get going.

Mid-Week Jokes.


Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got
heart attack & our driver ran away.

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
B'coz people started licking the wrong side.

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
urs??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How urs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend is also my son,
that's confidential!

Received emails from my big sister recently.

I find this cool.

Moreover it was published on my BIRTHDAY.

A HOLY FISH.

My family turned against me.
And somehow I felt like a stranger to them.

Argy bargy between us had started since yesterday.
Where's the bolthole in this world?
Since I'm not needed by them anymore?

IN MY LIFE,
I wish no one to correct me except my parents.
If u're not my parent & u want to correct me,
Correct yourself before u correct me.

Look at yourself.
Saying its shameful to gossip, yet u gossip about me.
Saying u're scared of God, yet u do sinful acts.
TALK BIG ONLY!
[apa lagi bulan Ramadhan yer]

Unhappy with my looks?
Look at yourself again.
Are u way better than me?
Look like a model & no excessive fats bulging out?
If u are, I have no comment.

What & Who I want to be, it's my choice.