today im going to hillgrove sec.
which, i dont even know how to get there.
ruzz wished me luck though. thinking of him, i regret of my not usual self.
if only we could be like last time. but, its hard.
things are different now.

im terribly hungry now. and not even one food is at home.
see ? how thoughtful my mum is.
she said she malas. -.-

means i have to head to shop now.

ABOUT WORK?
me and haili cold shouldered the whole day yesterday.
i couldnt think of what is he up to.
nura came earlier, and she hanged with haili outside from 5-6.
jealous ? NO TIME. but theyre trying so hard to make me.
fuck them.


and yeah, im working from 11-4pm today.
yessahhh =D
and and 'paydays out this coming friday. im thinking of what to spend on.
mp4? or just checkered tees. hmmmms.

Dang -.-""" im off to work in 20 mins time . and there will be super little staff today. nura and i was back to normal. and so is heiqqel . i still avoid him though, he's the cause im having cold shoulders with haili now. thanks -.-


and, i lost my extention and my earpiece .
best eh.

update more soon.

i cant do this T_T
feels like breaking down now.
--

quizlet

What will be the first letter of the person you marry?
Created by mineofGod and taken 582495 times on Bzoink
Name
Date of Birth
Gender	MaleFemaleHermaphrodite
Favorite Color
First letter of the person you will marry	U
Create a Quizlet | Search Quizlets | Go to Bzoink

idc whats gonna happen. all i know is to avoid u both. heiqqel,nura, im sorry. -.-
u both wants to end the friendship anyway.like FINE.

--
today was bad.
today was sway.
today was heartbreaking.

first thing in the morning i dropped customer's food~
i tried to balance the chilli sos bottle rolling on the tray.
ended up i dropped the garlic bread on my left hand.
one of my foot was like hanging in the air.
so yehh, silly me -.-"""
MANAGER CAME IN,
he was saying, ROOOSSSEEEE ! THATS EMBARASSINGG YKNOW !!
(like duh -.-)

when i was about to go home, 3 mats dine in.
they saw me and screamed , EHHH NAK BALIKK!?? NAK BALIK!?? NAK BALIK!!??


.......

so yeah. pathetic.

i was so upset yest nite .
why should i loose her just because of rumours ?
nura , dont get the wrong idea ok ? im not having something on with heiqqel !
like whaaaaaaaaaa ? SIAPA NAK DIA PUN ! -.- ""
how could i ever betray you ? youre my bestie , and i know that you like him . =\
i kept saying to him to go to you...........
but now, it hurts that he likes me instead of you . i never even waaaaaant that to happen !
haizz -.-

camwhored. kinda lazy wanna to edit. just the frames will do. ^^
kinda bore now . -.-

arghhh ~ =\
i kinda wanna to study today ! but im still not running my fingers on books yet. hmmss and yeah im still left confused till now . i hate of what happened at work, myself, and my behaviour towards ruzz . im sorry ruzz that i acted so weird to you yesterday. u know i know.

anyway, im currently so stuck with love song by sara bareilles . ure listening to it now. thanks to yan star. aweeesomeee -.- .
other current favs ,
devil wears pradas' & mozart seasons' .

wished i was not having this spiritual disturbance everyday of my life...its like my dark secret and little ppl out there knows how miserable i am. and the night before, my mum saw two pontianak going inside and outside of me. i was sleeping, and in that dream, i was nearly RAPED by my guy friend. and when she woke me up in between, i felt my body was SUPER HEAVY, i cant get up! and the next minute, im left unconcious.
i told ruzz about it...and only now i realised i became so different and forgot who he was to me.
and now today's night..........that thing was beside me.



--

hate today.

bestie is leaving workplace this july for overseas-ing . :( argh im really sad !! i wont see bestie ever again.
im loosing friends nearly each time. kiki came back today. and i have to guide the new trainees. 4-6. nura, shahrul, rezza, elfee, mos etc left for training at kallang at 6. haziqah, aisyah, kiki, faiz went home. rezza told me that his woodland friend knew me. and after, elfee told that khairul from marsiling sec knew me. which i was wondering who till now.

and yeah, my phone will be hang till this friday. arghhh fuck up bill !!

woohoo ! feels so happy today !!!!
'A' bestie is back working ! (:
finally, after 7 days of not interacting.
haha. ok that was random. ^^
ppl all loved my new hair. mas love me so much cause im very preety in her eyes. lol.
guide our new staff ,nura. we're now like the bestest of friends.
and i heard that cik sukra made stories that im having affair with ____. fuck.

so yeah. pretty much tired now. (: i miss muhd ruzz.
blog soon.

yesterday i bought my contact lenses. i kinda regret it.

and yeah,

recently watched:

1) The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)
2) Hantu Beranak Dalam Kubur The Movie (2008)

i give five stars rating to these both (: u should catch it.

o1. At what age do you wish to marry?
- 24 .

o2.How many children do you want?
- 3 boys. two of them are twins. :B

o3.What I want most now?
- payday !

o4.What are you future plans?
- good job, good guy, good house and be a good wife. (:

o5. If you can have 1 more dream to come true, what will it be?
- to be filthy rich :B

o6.What are you afraid to lose now?
- loves . (L)

o7.Do you believe in being in love forever?
- it never dies.

o8.If you meet someone you love, will you confess to him/her?
- kinda maybe.

o9.How strong (in your heart) can you be?

- not even a bit. im really weak. =\

1o. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?

- courage.
11.Which type of person you hate most?

- bitchy type.

12. Do you cherish every single of your friendship?

- yeah. but some just dont appreciatte it back and let it go.

13. Do you believe in God?

- like of course.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

- my family.

15. Do you find it necessary to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

- can be. these are actually part of experiencing , and learning from mistake.
we could understand the opp sex better and knew which are best for us.

16.What do you want your friend to be like?

- someone who can make me laugh, who keeps my secret safe,
and go through thick and thin together.

17.What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?

- a good and trusted one(:
18.Who lives near you?
- ex yussofians, 2 ex boyfriend.

- 19. If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?

- my loved ones <3
2o.Tell me a secret.

- i slept with seven pillows every night.
and yeah, my 6 year old soft toy kitten. lol.

HELLO MOFOS.
AKU DAH REBOND RAMBUT.
DAN AKU SAKEEEEEET.


see,
vomit, cough, stomach cramps, backache, high fever, block nose, difficulty in breathing
all in one .
especially breathing. my heart feels hard and suffocating.
mum is bad. she feed me so many kinds of medicine. not even one worked after 4 days.
instead it gets worser.
i never had this in my entire life before.
i need a doctor badly.
but mum is still indecisive about that.

what wrong with my life !?
i kept loosing friends each time without my bad.
it fucking hurts ok.
theres always a third person who will always make me loose them.
why are they so mean not to think of what im gonna feel.
they only think abt themselves , their life.

if thats what u did to me, u'll get the same soon.
--

today im working as usual. 6-11pm. fuck sitti.
fuck dishwasher. fuck ahwu.
three perfectionist.

--

im still having thoughts of rebonding.
should i?

ARGH HAPPYNYEEEERRR!!
AKU NMPK SESEORANG DI DALAM MRT SMLM !!!

(^.^)

thanks for being there for me 'A' .
finally i felt we're like the closest friend once again.
and your younger sibling finally treated me like its own big sister.
(:

---

i miss ruzz.

finally, i shed my tears at work!

thanks to that mother of a bitch dishwasher!

plates pecah abeh nk salahkan aku!
ngade ngade mcm sial !

after, i went to office to pack bag uhh , tibe tibe si tua masuk pastu marah aku lagi.
" EH ROSSSEEEEE !! KAO DA LA TAK TAHU TARUK PINGGAN BTOL BTOL!! MANE KAO TARUK UBAT ZAM BUK UH!? ITU HARI KAO PAKAI JE TK TAHU ILANG KE MANA.. EHH!!! CARIK SKRG LAAAAAAAA!!! !!!!!!!!! "

perangai mcm taik gajah.

WORK.

ive been fucking rude to customers today. and i pretended not to hear them calling me.

'A' got sick.
no words spoken.
and left early without a single goodbye.....
i felt so wrong for giving the angry look at 'A'. in the end, i gave in.
ME: KAO SAKET EH ?
'A': .......
ME: JAGA DIRI BAIK BAIK.
'A: ............

just what mistake did i do... haizxsx .


:(

feels like killing myself just now.
how could 'A' did just that ? 'A' did not talk to me even just abit today. what was my mistake to deserve this ? its weird. the food that i ate went drained.


Pls dont do this to me. :(
or i was being so emotional..?

the friends that i have no longer stick to me. no longer cared.
only the newest ones i could depend on.

God, why do i keep losing friends with no reason to..

trust me. im no good.
im the person who cant accept the past. and nobody understands me.
so be it. complaint to your guy friends all u want.


my life was badly destroyed by each guy i met before.
ure just experiencing the beginning.

yesterday's work was boring.
headed back at 10.30pm. i was havin this bad flu. dengan secara tak senonoh, i held the inhaler and few packet of wet tissues in my hand.

escalator-ed to platform and sat at my usual sit. sneezing away.
lepas itu ada dua insan duduk sebelah roseee . tgk punya tgk, confirm satu laki satu perempuan melayu linkungan 15-17 tahun. gi mati uh. trosss buat bodoh. bila masuk dlm mrt, duduk, alangkah terperanjatnya mereka sebenarnya adalah lesbian.

kissing and hugging right in front of me.


---


and yeah, today no work !!!!
bye.

they are trying so hard to be like yankees .
they'll brag disturbingly about their new york trip, australia,
which they think we will look up and be awed by their american feeling.

SOME MALAYS.




--------


anyway, teddy is taking his report today. good luck ! <3

somethings are ment to be kept a secret .
we humans have deepest secret ANDDDDD its up to the individual to reveal it or not .
if u revealed everything, u can't expect me to be like YOU .


-----------------------------------------------------------

payday's today . money down the drain. no hope of buying that converse shoe.

fucking bills.

i'm hunting for new musicxsxsxs for my blogspot but i manage to only find two . prolly to settle with medic droid's but ended up with wolfgang gartner's (front to back mix) which i found it quite interesting from the movie Pochong 3 . HAAAAA

ok bye .

I can't help feeling that 'A' is hiding something from me .
this is suppose to be my deepest secret and ive not been telling a soul. i just want to feel better that i state this in my diary. i'll tell u more about 'A' soon.

-----------
work was suckafucka . -____-" customers complained about dirty spoon which doesnt look dirty. u ppls are germs-free asses .
she asked for fork, i came back with several. then she askkkkkk for spoonnnnnnnn, i came back AGAIN with several. THEEENNNNNN she ask for 6 new plates and AAA SEVERED . i came back AGAIN AGAIN with those. and she said " eh, one severed only? not enough !" SO YEAHHHHH i came back AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN with MANY SEVERED.
she could have just asked for all of them at ONE TIME.

next. a couple went in. sat down. 10 mins later, the malay teen girl searched for me everywhereeeeeeeeeeeeee and finaally she got me. i came to their place and the girl seems mad and spoke to his bf, " AHHH! U NAK DIA SGT KAN SERVE U" .

WTF.

after took their orders, some typical teens 3 guys 1 gal came in. sat. and in the next 5mins, they called me SUUUUUU.
......................
so yeah, i came to them and said my name is ROSE not SUUUUU.

ive been juggling with my food server task which really breaks my back. -_____-" but im shocked to be personally praised by the customers as the best food server. i got $5 tips. my manager came in and she happily said that ppl commented me as the best food server.

but work still suck.

watching today:

recently watched :

DUYUNG .
Genre:
Comedy / Fantasy

Genre:
Horror

I suggest u guys to watch this. BEST GILER

--

[gig this saturday @ musicgarage.]

sorry i can't help out with the ticks

best of luck to my frens band RADIANT ARCHERY & SCANDAL[afiq,yus,izzat]

stared into blank walls from 12pm - 6am . and now, its 6.15am.
i can't sleep... !
im so....!!! pressured.......!!!
urghhhh....

....
....

bills...
studies...
work...
friends...
"____"...


URGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

camwhored when teddybear is taking a rest (:

home.finally. -____-"
its been awhile since i blog.
dating with ruzz, family problems, work, course, bla bla bla

and yeah, to make it short,
my manager. he's a son of a bitch.
my work today sank just because of him.

--
tommorow110508 is my 8th month DATE with ruzz !
i cant wait to catch a movie with him and only him.

happy 8th month teddybear <3

finally, home.
nothing special.
one hour trip back and forth from tampines.
taught abit of maths at ruzz's crib and 3 hours of gaming.
his mom cook alot . soup tofus the best (:

wasted our time distracting each other whilst eating.

old fren ahmad msged that he's on board to vietnam for silat competition. goodluck (:
tmrw's work scheduled 4-10.
im done.

--

im really scared to meet up with my manager.
i hope i did not see him at 7pm today after what happened.

:''[
shessh.

i feel tired that i sat at home gaming all day. 3 more courses to complete and ive yet to prepare myself. damn.
gaming was like a part of me now. completed big city adventure - sydney, csi 3's all case files and half way through in mario golf adventure.
gawd i fetish ruzz's Dj max even more. the first time i went to his house, we played Naruto & Gaulet.
i'm looking forward for it on this upcoming next visit this week. :)

its been like, months since i camwhored alone.

so, its pretty obvious why my pictures were not that good.

I cant believe im such a fool for believing you yesterday !

u told me you're meeting your cousin alone.
u told me you both are getting your phone fixed.

YET U MOTHER F*CKING MEET THE OTHER GALS TOGETHER WITH YOUR COUSIN.

hey, u should know ok. i get jealous really easily.
tak paham paham pe !!
aku kalau keluar dengan kawan lelaki, perempuan dia tak suka.

dulu aku kalau tak ikut dia jalan jalan dengan kawan dia, dia pun tak pergi.
aku takde same dia, dia tak nak.

sekarang , _______________________.


eh! siapa tak bingit siah !!

ygay!
bestie and i confirmed to join ad polytech this october. woohoo!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
skrg, its time to earn enough $$$ and study for my other courses.
pfft. and today have to go all the way to causeway point then to kallang for cet course.
tooting siahh. if nt for the resignation of: danial, farhan, endika, nuh, salihin,


i would have not gone --________--


and yesterday had a girls day out. best!
just like i wanted, an orange watch.

woohoooooooo got a new hp~
duit pun k.o. =.=''
pm me for my new number.
time to buy whats next ! heh.

wakakakaka boleh jadi gileeeeeeeeeeeee . =.='' !
monday kena amek off pergi dover blablabla amek test terus balik.
then tadi apply kat gov website macam orang gileeeeeeeeee via mail.
argh, stress stress stress !

:(

semalam boring seh kerja. =.= "
im with siti rian, faizal, jep, shaedah blablabla boring .
faizal aku dah lah menyampah. whatever i did, pada dia salah ! suka hati aku uh =.="
msged ruzz pun dia tak reply. boring boring boring !

david panggil cakap next week 8th&11th im heading for course with jep, ahmad, ezam, and lagi satu aku tak tahu kat kallang. jauh nak mampos. habes pukul 1o.30pm. nasib aku baik lah kalau dapat balik rumah before 12am eh eh eh .

ada patut satu customer niee panggil aku 'chibye' !?

i keyed in the orders correctly and the drinks server served the drinks wrongly. then asal boleh jeh nak mampos dia cakap aku 'chibye' tak tahu amek order.
fucking customer.



closing, i did sidestation and sweeping of fronthouse. get free pizzas home bla bla bla and hang around with danial & emaliza. they talked about their life from siling pri to marsiling sec, hyder,work. atleast, they make my day.

anybody knows where to get nice tees ?
im yearning for two .

they really did not want to see me pursue my dreams.
life is so cruel.
--------------------------------------------------
and love is so complicated.


where should i go now?

got my hair done with soft volume and curl waves bla bla bla ,

and bought the salon curl electronic to maintain the flair.
--------------------------------------------------------------

and ouh ! aku baru balik kerja sihsik.

mak aku kata jam aku macam singapore flag.

I'm feeling nervous now.
just because of some random compelling reasons.
: getting hair ententions.

abit of the rest goes to excitement.
: shopping.

have i really made up my mind?
haha. i don't know?

I heard about the so-popular home saloon located at Jurong West. She gives the best treatment yet awfully cheap prices. Im looking forward to it after i get my pay. but on second thought, i need an extention too (bond plus method preferred). my hair needs to be pampered badly this month. im not sure?
just one?both?

depends.

& ouh, work starts tmrw till sunday! im glad i do not have to rot at home earning nothing.
but terpaksa lah face 'sitikus' . damn, i dislike her lot. she and that new big spec auntie. just the same. even aisyah complained the same issue. seriously mother fucker.


i love muhd ruzzalmas (L).

woohoo ! today's work is scheduled only from 5pm-10pm uh. power seh !

and dearest love, happy SIX months to us :)

alabapak punya sitii ! mintak kena headbutt. bukan salah aku pun, nak naik kan suara. so what dia dah lama kerja @ pizzahut ? means dia pandai sangat ke ? podah lah eh !
like, i wished devi came instead and took over her.
this time, the non regular andi, amirul & ahmad took the same shift as me today. diff shift, diff friends. sometimes i find it tiring to make new friends almost every day in this outside world.

stupid injection. the doctor like katak somemore.
shut up eh ruzz, i kill u ! mentang mentang dia tak payah. tsk !


work was fun. danial is always late for work and i have to help out in hosting, which i preferred doing. i can't help listening to his gayish voice. haha, setan aku.
only when sitii is there. she's nice, pretty and all that stuff, but the fact that she likes to order me and thinks i did not know how to do ANYTHING, "BEATS!ME!" like, what ?
shah and his buddie worked 2nd shift. poor thing. well atleast, if they're there, they're the only ones whom could lessen my duties. cause working with nezam is really worrying. he's a wild guy. but still a friend of me. i know ruzz hated him. well but things are better off now.


like, finally.

like, what?
i msged that person yesterday night and that person never replied. does that person had forgotten/don't bother about me already? it's been only 11 months yet, this things happen.
or that person is just tired? slept?
GOD KNOWS ALL.
i'm not ready to lose another person. i had enough of losing the person i know.


yesterday night was, damn.
ruzz and i quarelled.

manager called up, need me to work this thurs,fri,sunday.
like, WHAT?
among all there, im chosen?

uh anyway,working at pizza hut is fun.
damn, if only my bestfriend were there. even though i now have a family of new buddies, they arent like my bestie. thats how UNIQUE a person is. still, i love them all.
and oh oh, my two malay managers are both "hot stuff!" . haha.

I WANT NEW CLOTHES. PATHETIC!

Aku tahu lah perasaan dia tentang aku kerja dekat pizzahut. Like, semua orang tahu eh situ ada byk matmat. If he does'nt trust me, macam mana seh. Aku dah terdesak. I'm in need of money to buy my personal stuff. Aku kerja pasal duit. Lain lah kalau aku ni gatal giler babi, PASAL LAKI. Diff ppl, diff attitude, diff perspective. I know you're worried dear, but i promise i wont do anything funny alright. You know that my heart is with you. THEY ARENT LIKE YOU.

Nobody like me, preferred work. I prefer to go by cash flowing w/o venting a single muscle. Hah, obviously its not possible. Now I'm juggling two job. the current Salesgirl@Marinasquare & now added with, Waitress@PizzahutCAUSEWAYPOINT . Phew, I'm counting to Monday, which is when i get started.

Tmrw work siakk :( Fauziah will not be there for the whole week. Things will be ridiculous! But I have to, for what it takes. Or my money will crumble down, wasted.
Like finally, I got back in contact with my "sister". She's busy working too, like myself. She had this problems nobody wished to have. Pity her. Her bf was once married recently, and now his ex wife was running after him and acts voilently toward my "sister". Their relationship is never at peace nowadays.

I miss Ruzz.

eh, senang aku dengar lagu keling. tak payah nak hegeh compete/kata kata dengan/pasal aku kan?
like, mulut big hole siakk. pa pe lah, lagu kau the best lah eh? semangat cari lagu all over the net. latest, so? *sneers* "aku bukan macam kau" aku tak kejarkan latest. ada masa aku tukar tukar genre. sebab, asal kan sedap sudah.

" Like finally, tmrw is weekend ! I do not have sink my eyes, coating & assembly at those optic lenses at work. It's mother of disaster sak -.- "

Fauziah taught me alot, and people thought we were like mother and child. itu part bagus, because those guys would'nt dare to disturb me. It's really annoying. I dragged Ruzz into my mind every minute. I just feel so alone without him. I miss him. Meeting him tmrw (:

Don't try to act as if u know all the songs in the world. I don't give a damn about your "goodness" . like, so what? SINK THE FUCKER.

1st shift work starts tomorrow. Little freedom, more cash flow. I'm going to miss every little bit of Ruzz, every little quality time we had. :(
This will lasts for a month. I need to check in the campus website tomorrow too.
I'm hoping highly to pursue on Diploma In Businesses. I'm eligible but, Can I be chosen? Insyallah.

The campus isnt okay and the customer service isnt okay.
I felt it like sinking in a trash. Nabeh teng teng.

Anyway. my job are scheduled as Mon-Fri 1st shift basis this Thursday. Comfirm boring :(

I can't sleep the whole night today. It was half-past two when I suddenly woke up with piles of uneasiness. I filled my ears with soothing music until 6am, which when the MOE sent an SMS pertaining the JAE2008 results. Its really amusing, NOT.

Work was tiring. :(

Moreover, with little pay. Now Im hoping for the 3dayswork-4daysoff job my mom recommended me. The Retail Manager has yet to call up, and they expected me to sprout attention fully towards the flyer duties.
Yesterday, I went all the way to Sengkang to give out flyers. I got lost eventually. ;tanya sana tanya sini, orang mama pun jadilah !

I met up with my Boyf after I reached my doorsteps & got changed. Its pretty amusing to have this maggi eating session with him :)
We exercised, we lay down on each other and watched the sunset. And I cant help hugging him when it was time to go home.
"I love you dearest", hehe.

a day out before valentines.

too bad we did not snap any during our valentines.

& ouh! our valentines was great(:

after my hard day work and those romantic night at the park, he suprice me with a real rose & a gift. i blushed like a total idiot. he's too sweet !

HAPPY FIFTH MONTH RUZZ SWEETHEART:) thanks for the picture u did specially for me.

anyway,worked at m.square last saturday. seriously, tiring gila. haiz haiz :( nasib part time. phew.
the esplanade is occupied by the uhh chinese bazaar, so punye lah sengket! tempat tu.
nak balik pun susah, mat mats minah minahs duduk, block the stairs yang panjang lebar tu.
uhh yeah, customers came loaded and those small minahs-minahs especially. look here,look there. uhhhhh pegi dah.

GAWD I LIKE THIS BAND!

eyes set to kill.

Eyes Set to Kill began in 2004 as a three-piece band from Phoenix, AZ, seeking a unique sound that would combine the soft, melodic feel of female vocals and gut-wrenching screaming, backed up by powerful instrumentals with a post-hardcore influence.

PENOPLY.

she's so pretty siot, whathefish. i love her hair, whats most. she's one of the top top toppest in emo images found on web. and i adore her way. GAHHH can i have a hair like her? LOL.

love.

oh bestnye. o results will be out in just a few hours!omg. i cant sleep, i cant think properly. im so scared i could eat my entire body. what the fish? haiz.

i myself knew how terrible i did for my entire papers. Iwasted.

ruzz ruzz ruzz.

he's all i could ask for, :)

forever.

[ o lvll results is out tmrw! HAIYO aku mampos dulu ! ]

escape the fate.... is nothing new.
but im starting to fall for them, :)




my sister moved in back to my house temporarily recently. her new house will be hers by march or april SO YEAH she has a com so WOOPY i can now blog often. WOOHOOOOOO




I MISS RUZZ!

how i wish i could just be with you forever.
and you and me (:

fancy not having access connection and go allllllllllllll the way down to some stupid cybercafe to BLOG. im pretty free right now though, totally not busy with life.
UUU CANNNN COUNTTT ON MEEEE FOR ANYYYY OUTINGGGSSSS (REALLY!) , as if.
but beep me, my msn is not alive (:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IMMMMMMMM BAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK LAAAAA SEEEYYYYYYYY /
GEDDDEEEEBUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH PIANNNNNNGGGGG

using, my friend's com.

my modem isnt working so im unable to access through internet, FOR LONG
it terribly need to feed on shit SO YEAH.

new year's a bore.
all i did during countdown was sleep.

new year hols,
sleep.

after new year,
sleep.

FUHHHHH LAZY HABESSSSS

i did went for a couple of interviews and training in work industries,
i dont know why it kind of, dont work out.
and next week i'll be starting on my work SHEESSSHHH
so i guess i'll be pretty busy this month.

WOOOOO WOOOO WOOOOO. AKU HAPPPYYYY LARRRR OI.

finally, im meeting him tmr ! woooooo woooooo woooooooooooooo.
i miss him so heavily much.

languished in home SO beats me.spick and span. im done with rotting. KERJA RUMAH SEMUA AKU BUAT TAHU TAK. sweeping, washing the dishes, scrubbing the walls & floors. GEE GEE GEE ! AKU AKU AKU -___- TAMPAR TERBANG!

i want to hook up in working line so i could escape from this ordeal.

its been quite awhile too i contacted her. she's busy working. and she left her boyfriend, which i was not informed. and now, her father left this world. which i was not informed too. im so upset. have she forgotten about me? hidayah, a best sisterly friend for all this years.

Tears clouded my eyes as they roll down my cheeks,
It is your presence this heart of mine seeks.

met him again.
quarelled with him again.
i did not meant to pin u with all of the questions.

i just hate the way u talked with your "bestie" that you never MET.
comments that everybody, a huge bunch of eyes can NOTICE.
MELUAT TAHU TAK!
MELUAT GILER BABI.

*sighs*

im jealous ok.

*pens down*

-.-" . i hate this.

why must i always fight with him over the most little things?
i hate that this happens every unexpected times.
i hate the fact that you said that ive changed.
i hate it.

i hate my hair! i hate my hair! i hate my hair! GILER!
ive been using this hair growth tonic eversince im done with my ugly haircut.
and guess what. the only thing that is growing is my thin FRINGE. WHATA!? FAGGERS!
i think they should call it fringe growth tonic instead of hair god damn it! haiy. SOT NYE AKU

grandma is finally sleeping over for this week! its been half a year since she stepped in this cozy place. & im looking foward for it.

woops sorry.
changed my blogskin & song, AGAIN.
im sick of one easily, very much. so pardon me. nyehe x]

ok serious matter now.
im feeling weird, dead beat.
just imagine youre fighting with your boyfriend, and the next minute.. your bestfriend's BOYFRIEND unexpectedly msged you. in some kind of weird tone & manner. im in that situation this very minute. im feeling creeps. :S

farhad DISLIKE my exposed rock song. i'm no good about beat tracks but i put up wyclef jean's in order to make him happy. for now.

urgh.
ok i know my blogskin is ugly. but it reflects how i felt now VERY WELL. im feeling ugly & dissapointed. seriously, i cant help hating my current hair, very much. God please help me :(

& HELL I NEED A JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB.
a decent job for me anyone? PLEASE.
all i could do is to be in out partying. NO LIFE.
and im seriously out of cash.
bored lah NYE.

I feel nothing but spaces in my heart, Ive been running in circles
for a sentence to explain the spaces. Every place that I hide, every sound that
I hear is telling me to go and fill my heart once again with your love and
tell you I was wrong to have let you go.

well,i took mickey ( faez) 's advices. he's a very good friend of ruzz. bla bla bla & ruzz decided to meet me up after the whole mess. its like kesian gitu. he had to travel all the way to bukit batok from tampines just to meet me. gee but he sanggup lor. i felt so sorry for him lah cause his day was already totally SUCKISH. his parents dah bonkers at him, and i added even more problems. aku jahat ke? haiz:[

(continued)


- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
I (L) U OK SYGG...
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i mean it
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
urgh.
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
immmm soooooo CONFUSED.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
abt what? im sorry, my fault
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
leaving.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
noo pls dont...dont do this to me..
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
*shocked*
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
pleaseee sygg....dont leave me.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i really regreted what ive done
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
pls forgive me..
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
*cries*
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
BRB.

(im in bold. current mood: CONFUSED)

- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i just cant forget the whole thing larh.
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
im not being controlling or what la
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
im just jealous alrights
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i noe ur terribly jealous.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i just think that sorry isnt enough
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
if sorry isnt enough
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
wad wud be the ting tht is enuff?
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
well, if ure planning to leave me for making u feel so jealous and irritated, then i cant do anything.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i am BAD. trust me
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
u mean
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
leacing u is the enuff ting?
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
*leaving
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
well, if thats what is enough for u
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
that is enough for u
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
not to me.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
its like cause i always make u feel like this all.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
im no good
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
i cant make ppl ard me happy.
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
how cud u
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
how cud u suggest me
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
such suggestions
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
suggestions of me leaving u
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
fine
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
im just guessing if tahts what on ur mind.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
sorry much.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
ure leaving me??
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
no relationship is perfect
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
mesti ader case like this alrghts
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
tell me which person makes ppl happy 24/7
. rose owns muhd ruzz says:
i myself did make u unhappy rite
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
im sorry cygg....
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
idk what i was saying.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
okok
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
noones perfect.
- . ruzz rose punya . can? says:
just pls, i dont want to lose you.

i hate my new haircut.
its so short:[
memang mintak kena smack lah that hairdresser. haiya:[
i try to like sort my hair out every now and then. its so horrible la dey. gee. i miss having long, girl-ish hair lah. i look like lollipop kid now. bah:[
feeling like nak pakai wig pun ada. sobs*


& yeah. i did went for a groovy haircut today.with my mum.we also did some pretty make-up shopping.bought new powder,eye shadows,blusher,make-up kit etc. awesome la kan:] heh.
we also had these family eating at 'makan syiok' jurong west.plus with my dad and brother. weeeee. awesome giler:]
so yeah. pretty fun saturday:] exclude my hair pls:]

ok i seriously need my bf now:[
after i logged off at 2plus pm today, he never contacted me eversince.
he's out buying his new handphone.
when i see his ex giving him comments, my imaginations came running wild:[
i felt like im so ugly, so not for him & much more.
its just that i really cant afford to loose him. i love him. i love ruzz.

my sickness is getting worser now. drugs not working, countless of rest not helping. haiya:[
dad tried to help me with pulling of my hair & massaged my head.
& today i only found out that my head had gone even worser.
apa aku kesah, im still heading out of home:] nyahaha.


&today, i followed my ITE friends pergi jamming at chinese garden.
woo. gerek dok:]
its been quite awhile.

it was not costly lar compared to jurong east entertainment. only 12 bucks:]
yeah. & theres kamal, kamal's gf, syam, nurul, 3 other guys, 1 other girl & me.
from 5pm-6pm? yeah:]
kamal was awesome for today's jamming. well of course, he's 19.

well in the end, i ended up missing my bf. i need him now, can i?
lol.

im now done with my new layout.
hooray:]

and ruzz introduced me this very funny video.
better watch now.go click. gogogo:D

gosh, this world is sinking meeeeeeee :(
pffoooo.

im indeed calculatively lost.
i had hard times planning for my future. very hard times finding for work. && super hard times figuring out what to do next, each time.

ive almost nothing to do each day except for those random daily ritual ones. which is. BORING. -.-"

today, umm nothing special.
ate out with my bestie nurul at causeway point banquet.
i ate the special 'cockles fried kway teow'. hahs. sedap woi ! XD.
bought a white shoulder bag at 77th street.
& after tht we took crazy pictures at the void deck.
MUHAHA. XDD.

after those giler-giler,
i met up with my boifey at peninsula.
theres mick, ayam & dumb dumb with us.
fun giler lah :DDD.


im gonna upload those pictures we took real soon ok :)

ok back back back.
:)
no longer commited to blogger, so sorry. pffoooo!
nyaha.



so yest i went too.. a.. VIVO.
i think its 10 months since i entered there ! LOL. -.-"
it was fun, i think.

with my boyfriend.
& his buddies which is..
mick ( faez ) , feiraz, hazim, shidee, nasyitah, dumbdumb etc.

around five plus, ended up with only four of us.
me, my boyfriend, feiraz & mick.
& kebetulan, we 4 wore all black. nyaha. XD
macam sudah janji gitu.
kita chill at the top.
played with the water.
& at 8plus we seperated cuz feiraz & my boyfriend had to went back to chalet.


so yeah.

aku terjatuh dan aku terjatuh lagi.
im tired of LIFE.

oh trash.
im SO SO BORED ALRIGHT ?
seriously bored.
& the days getiing even mundane.
which, i decided to blog rubbish.
my boyfriend is still away on that terrible trip.
he must be having fun maybe.
GOD KNOWS.
he's seriously making me ROT like a damn pumpkin now.
see. IM AAAAA PUMPKIN ! lol.

manmanman.
cant wait for his return tmrw ! gah.


& oh btw. FINALLYYYYYYYY.
im done with my Os. woooooooooooooooooooooo.
i dropped my POA.
bullshit subject to be frankly speaking.
im no banker or whatever shit wannabe ok? HAH !
im happy now. ^^



next stop.
working line.
YEAH. ^^

morons.

stop asking me where have i gone will ya ?
the rats eaten up my laptop charger, thank you !

so dont bother.
im damn freaked out.

ok besides that, ive been busy with my studies as per usual.
the O papers ? it SUCKS :)
so dont be shocked if u see me walking down the streets of NITEC.
hell yeah.
or maybe some shit private schools.

& one more,
my boyfriend of course. i love him. :)
he's away to a dumb jackass school trip to Batam.
LOL -.-
im worried sick here. * boohoohoo
can turn today to 7th november anybody?
LOL -.-

diary diary dear diary
hello :)
hee.

IM BACK.

using my lappie NOT.
my lappie charger ... is.. spoiled. :(
geeeeeeeeeeeeee

lately... err.
been busy.
raya - ed with ruzz twice.
it was fun. :) but i felt odd at first.
well. to raya with the bedok town ppls & im the odd one out.


but now. today its the second day im w/o him.
*boohoohoo*
he's away to his damn school camp.
urgh. okay. nevermind. one more day to go !

oh oh , tmrw's my chem paper two.
better get studying now. wish me luck peeps !

seriously.
I HAD A BAD NIGHT. :(

i lay on the bed since 10.30pm &
i only find myself, half asleep by 4am that is.
sighs.O level syndrome lah kata kan.

i woke up at 6am to get my i/c from mum and went back to sleep.
& know what, i had this horrible nightmare of a ghost sucking my right neck !
waduh waduh.
next thing i knew, i woke up & its only 6.50am -.-"

&...... HERE I AM.
infront of my lappie screen. 7.15am -.-" heh.
my mind still onto my nightmare thingy.
weird, but i kept looking at myself in the mirror to checkout my neck.
LOLS.

so yesterday,
RUZZ finally............... is back.
he's actually at his damn cuzz's house lah for the past two days.
sshesh dia. :(


but but but. hold on.
i get to MEET HIM :)

met his cuz & himself of course di cityhall.
heh it was ok lah no worries.
the sweetest part was when i board the train home &
he said those 'three letter words' to me. :D

inside the train, there's these BIG group of guys in raya clothes occupying alot of seats.
say, around 15 guys? and ouh, one miserable girl. lols.
as usual, they attracted attention.
as for myself, i rolled my eyes. heh.

but sadly, they're still with me till jurong mrt station. and we both ALSO had to transfer to the middle platform.
took the middle train ..... & i had many empty seats avail around me ! OH...........NO. sucker -.-"
aper lagi, they ol semua duduk lah. infront, left, right. -.-"
& the most irritating two guys in white kurung quickly sat beside me & smiled.
with the psp ol, attracted every of my attention, i dont care abit lor.

ALL I CARED ABOUT IS MY OS NOW ! =[ alright. i better go.

hello hello.
IM BOOOOOOOOOOOORRREEEDDDDD !
lol.

just got back from tamp mall. never bought much.
just these one red ferrari watch & black long sleeves.
cut my hair yesterday ! trust me, its aaaaaaaaaaaa.. disaster !
thanks to that .. err .. talkative woman who cuts my hair ! hah.


ruzz did not contact me for. say, 1 1/2 day?
boohoo*
i wondered what ACTUALLY happened.
not replying my smses & not even online.
rose miss dia lah :(


thursday will be. my sci prac. fuck it. -.-"
im not prepared. i mean i am prepared.
but not prepared to face the damn experiment.
i will turn totally & I MEAN TOTALLY DUMB wennit comes to physics.
really. -.-"
shesh i wish i dont have to take Os.but sadly i will. boohoohoo.

my hair was actually long. just that its short on the front (:

shessh. stress nye aku :(
been studying like a geek lately.

im left with 11days to my O paper.
which is my combined sci practical.
fcuk it.
NO RAYA CELEBRATING 100% !
shessh.

& friday will beeeeeee myyyyyyyyyy.
GRADUATION DAY !
yippppppp.

of course, my conduct will be poor. -.-"
due to my attendence that is.

& & my prelim results.
I DONT WANT TO SEE IT = !



so today. went for a big shopping w nurul bestie.
& yeah, never get to chat with ruzz the whole day !
*boohoo*
imhlh.

its best if i dont live.
and learn to feel , jealous.

its awful when this runs through my blood.

i tried not to feel. i tried my best to avoid them.
but. it all failed.
i failed being calm. im only good for being not understanding.
good for only being angry.

it sucks to know when i hope for that someone to not do it again yet,
that someone do it again.

it sucks when someone betrayed me.

it sucks when theres this someone goes for looks too much. and that is why, avoided me.

it sucks to know when this other someone is acting like lovers to __'s friend. theres difference between them dont it?

it sucks to know even, that i actually lost a close friend.

sheesshh. truth HURTS!